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Ask earthsister Your Own Question

earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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My teenager refuses to go to school will not participate in

Customer Question

My teenager refuses to go to school will not participate in the family or will not go to any support services i set up for her she will not attend any personal hygine and will not talk to any councillors or doctors i obtain for her
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 4 years ago.

professional_Alison : Hello there, I can help you with this problem. You must be very worried for your daughter and I understand you want to get her the help she needs as soon as possible. Firstly I think there may be some deep under lying problems as to why your daughter will not go to school or attend to personal hygiene. Deal with one issue at a time. First you need to arrange a meeting with the school to let them know of the problems you are having so they are aware and can support your daughter accordingly. The school counsellor will be able to help here too. Meet with the teacher without your daughter present to begin with.
professional_Alison : With regard to personal hygiene this needs to be dealt with sensitively but does need to be addressed. Ask her why she is not bathing or showering regularly and insist that she does have to have one every other day even if it means you have to stand outside the door to ensure she does it.
professional_Alison : Does your daughter find social situations difficult? It seems from what you have said that she is deeply unhappy. Try talking to her letting her know that whatever is wrong you would really like to help and will support her. Arrange a visit to the doctor with your daughter to talk about your concerns and the doctor will refer you to the appropriate therapy. It is important that you get your daughter to these appointments for her to move forward in getting te help she needs.
professional_Alison : I wish you luck in getting your daughter the help she needs it is important that she knows she has your understanding and support. Stay strong, I hope I have helped answer your question, I will be happy to assist you further.
Expert:  earthsister replied 4 years ago.
Good morning. Your daughter may be experiencing some form of depression. There could be some reason, related to school (a bully, not having friends, boy problems, etc) that could be causing this behavior from her. Because your daughter is refusing counselors and psychologists, you have to find a third party, someone who she will talk to, perhaps an adult family friend, older sibling or relative, or someone who she respects and admires who can speak to her about these issues. There also has to be some kind of activities that she enjoys, even if it's watching tv; Find out what the things are that interests her, and do them along with her. Show your daughter that you are interested in the things that she likes, and maybe this will encourage her to be more active in family activities. If she has any friends, make opportunities for them to get together during times when the family gets together, If your family is going to an event, see if your daughter has a friend that she would like to take along; this may help in getting her to participate in family activities. Teenagers are complex creatures, as they are maturing from child hood into young adulthood, which can be difficult and confusing for youngsters. Stay involved with your daughter, and continue to show her love and support. Finding the root to why your daughter is behaving this way will help to bring a solution. If I can assist you in any other way, or if you need further insight, please let me know. I wish you the best!

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