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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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how do I get my 6 yr old ot of my bed? Every night around 12to1

Customer Question

how do I get my 6 yr old ot of my bed? Every night around 12to1 am he comes in and gets in bed most of the time he just sleeps in our bed because its like he doesn't know how to go sleep so when he does sleep in his room its never all night.he doesn't have any medical issues or stuff like that so I really don't know what to do
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

DrFee :

Hello! Please remember that my responses are informational only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.


 

DrFee :

One idea that has worked for a few people I know (myself included) was to put a small air mattress at the foot of the bed ---and tell the child that they can come in a sleep on the air mattress, but not in the bed.


 

Expert:  earthsister replied 2 years ago.
Good afternoon, I would like to be of assistance. If the goal is to get your child to sleep in his own bed in his own room, I would suggest to first try sleeping in his room, on the floor with a sleeping bag, comforter, or cot, etc, as he sleeps in his own bed. Stay with him the entire night, so that if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he is not afraid that you are away. After a few days of doing this, Sit in a chair in your child's room while he is in his bed, until he falls asleep. Do this for a few more days until it works, then move the chair into the hallway, or closer to the door for a few days after that. Before you know it (maybe 2 weeks, it takes patience) your son should be comfortable going to bed in his room, in his own bed, knowing that you are not far away. During these times as well, encourage him, letting him know that he is growing up and is a big boy; that big boys sleep in their own beds. Let me know if this helps, or if you need any further assistance.
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
earthsister and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  rcdaycare replied 2 years ago.
When he appears in your room just take him back into his room. The first time explain that he needs to sleep in his bed. If he comes back after that just keep taking him into his room and say good night. The more attention that you give him the more apt he will be to continue to try to sleep in your room. Calmly and firmly return him to his bed each time he comes into your room.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

I think all 3 ideas are valid, workable ideas --some of this depends on the personality of the child and the parents. I've known people who have used EarthSister's approach with great success, and rddaycare's approach works for some people --but I've also known some parents who do not respond to well to the "keep returning him to his room" approach (myself included). But, her point about not giving attention is a great one ---except one my kids perceived the "taking back to the room" behavior as attention. Also, I was annoyed by having to wake up multiple times. Hence, the air mattress on the floor --no fuss, no big deal, and not in my bed!

So, overall, I think you need to consider that a number of approaches will work --but which one fits you and your child the best?

Expert:  Adviser Mills C.C.D. replied 2 years ago.
Every suggestion is great! Mine would be to start a bed time ritual. He is old enough to get very into this. Do something that he loves, but only a relaxing activity. Reading, Drawing etc. Then build a fort with stuffed animals or whatever you feel as a parent is safe. Pillows etc. Tell him that it is his magical fort that only HE can be in, he must guard it at all times. Make this exciting. Tell him that every time he protects his fort all night, he gets something to add to it. These can be things already in his room. Start camp outs in this bed that is now this awesome amazing magical "fort". He gets to have a flashlight and a book or a lantern (small child one). No TV at bed time, it will only make him restless. Every night that he sleeps in his own bed ALL night, you do something more special to his special area. If he stays in his "fort" (bed) to everyone without the imagination of a 6 year old. Do something super special, make him a flag for his fort and let him name it, etc. Keep a chart in his room. Tell him when he wakes up in the middle of the night, instead of coming to mommy's bed think of what he might want to do to his fort the next day if he stays and guards it. He will get so lost in thought, he will doze off. Grab things at the dollar store, glow in the dark stars for his ceiling etc, and keep them somewhere. So he is automatically rewarded upon his completion of the ALL night fort guard.little ones his age LOVE immediate gratification. And they FEED off of praise. So make a huge deal out of this. Before you know it, you will not need the fort or the rituals. He will just doze off, but this can be a fun way to show him that his bed is his special resting place. It is hard to make him leave your bed, so making it a game will make you feel like you are helping him to reap benefits from his new job as fort guard, that will ease the guilt. I work with children his age in theater, so I think a little out of the box. Once a grandfather told one of my 4 year old actors, if he stands in his spot on stage he would get a quarter every time. He was GLUED to this spot, even when the others were everywhere, it was his job to hold that spot! They respond to this. Have fun with it! Good luck to you and hoping for many sleep filled nights in your future!

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earthsister
earthsister
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Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.