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earthsister
earthsister, Parent
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  Home Child Care Provider, and mother of 4; two pre-teen boys and twin baby girls.
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I have a very smart 8 year old boy who wont do his studying

Resolved Question:

I have a very smart 8 year old boy who won't do his studying assignments or homework. I know he feels he knows it all.
We were working nicely together, I was asking questions from his Science book, when I got to a word he did not know, there was total silence. He then put away his Science book and took out a storybook. Mostly he is always defiant and only does when he wishes.

He has seen the school counselor but I'm not seeing improvement. I am writing from a children's home in Nepal. He came to us at age five and has had behavior problems since the beginning. Should I try an "incentive" or it is just stubborness?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 4 years ago.

earthsister :

Good morning, I would be happy to assist you. Your 8 year old is definitely being stubborn, however this is common for an 8 year old. Children around this age are beginning to feel a new level of mental independence, as more of what they learn about the world starts to process and make since to them. I agree that punishment for not complying with you is necessary, however he does also need some form of incentive. Unfortunately, as much as an 8 year old comprehends, many of them have not yet come to relate the importance of how they do in school to their lives. What may be more important to him right now are friends, toys, video games, cartoons, sports, etc. What kinds of things are your 8 year old interested in?

earthsister :

Also, what kind of behavior problems has the young man had?

Customer:

He loves to play...any type of board game, outside games, he does not have video games and he seems to only have one or two friends.


 

Customer:

Seems to over react when over stimulated. Basically has always done only what he likes, when he likes...but a good kid...


orginally very distracting but is now just on his own track...about school work and following rules at home.

earthsister :

Has he been evaluated by a physician as of resent, in terms of any possible developmental issues?

Customer:

Physician finds nothing wrong....I don't think he is ADD...just very, very smart and stubborn...just wanted to know If I was missing something. Will continue to give him incentives and hope that one works.

earthsister :

Work with him and ask him what does he think would help him learn.

earthsister :

He likes to be outside, take the studying and homework times to the outdoors, especially for a subject like science.

earthsister :

Work with his counselor to find or create educational board games that revolves around the subjects that he is studying.

Customer:

In other words get him to set his own rules in a way...might work. Thanks. Will do...


Maybe if I give him a different (more interesting) assignment than his teacher gave me...

earthsister :

Right. Let him choose, but provide the choices for him. Don't put too much pressure on him when it is homework time, be sure that he works in a peaceful and relaxed environment, yet one that is stimulating mentally; I think that outside works real nice for almost any subject.

earthsister :

Here's an article that provides a little deeper insight into the development of 8 year olds: http://www.pbs.org/parents/childdevelopmenttracker/eight/index.html

earthsister :

One more thing,make sure that the incentives are appealing; not just allowing him to do things that he regularly does, but new things.

earthsister :

Hang in there and be patient. Keep working to find new methods and techniques that will work for him. If there is any other way that I can be of assistance, please don't hesitate to ask.

earthsister and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  earthsister replied 4 years ago.
Hi


I'm just following up with you to see how everything is going. Did my answer help?


Let me know,
earthsister