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professional_Alison
professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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I have two children, a 4 year old daughter, and a seven year

Customer Question

I have two children, a 4 year old daughter, and a seven year old son. they have different fathers. I have joint custody of my daughter, and her father makes negative remarks about my son to my daughter. i am sure this causes a problem, but what is the textbook term for this behavior, and what negative effects can it cause. also can you cite some textbooks that deal with this issue.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  earthsister replied 5 years ago.

earthsister :

Good evening, I can relate to your situation, and I empathize with you.

earthsister :

I am not sure exactly what the text book definition is, however it can simply be called a negative influence.

earthsister :

How long has this been occurring?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for your response, but i would prefer the textbook verbage and effects of this behavior. thank you
Expert:  earthsister replied 5 years ago.
I understand, what I can suggest to you in terms of books is "Building a Parenting Agreement that Works": here's the google link to preview and buy: http://books.google.com/books?id=P4AiKm6sy2AC&pg=PA98& amp;dq=parenting+children+with+different+fathers&hl=en&sa=X&ei=6MetT5i5JYu5twecoczuCA&ved=0CD8Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=parenting%20children%20with%20different%20fathers&f=false

I would suggest that you speak to the father of your daughter in regards XXXXX XXXXX he says about your son. What he might not understand is that the wedge that he may be causing (at least in your daughter's mind) between your daughter and her brother is damaging to the relationship, not only that she will develop with her brother, but in the future,it could affect her relationship with men as well. If I can help you in any other way, please let me know. I wish you the best!

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I really appreciate your response, but i cannot accept because it does not answer my question.
Expert:  earthsister replied 5 years ago.
That is perfectly understood. Are you looking for the name of the behavior that your daughter's father is displaying, or behavior of your daughter? If you are looking for the text book name of what your daughter's father is doing, you may want to question one of our psychology experts. I thank you for taking the time with me today. If I can help you in the future, type "earthsister" before your request.Thanks
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 5 years ago.
Hello there, may I help you? What your daughters father Is doing is manipulating her through negative communication and can be very destructive within a family. He is manipulating your daughter by bad mouthing your son to her, so she will in his eyes turn against him. This needs to stop now. She is young and impressionable and his words will confuse and upset her. He is obviously resentful of the fact that you had a child with someone else before you met him. Perhaps this makes him feel insecure. You need to explain your concerns to him in a sensitive manner but also that it hurts and upsets you too. He needs to stop this before he causes damage to you all as a family.
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 5 years ago.
Here is a book that may be helpful to you. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Relate-Guide-Step-Families-Successfully/dp/0091856663/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336805936&sr=1-1