How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1743
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
64783947
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Coach Jen K. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

What is a good time for a 5 and 6 year old boy go to bed at

Customer Question

What is a good time for a 5 and 6 year old boy go to bed at night? Can they stay up longer when there is no school? They don't nap during the day. Thank you.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families. I am also a mom of Twins.

CoachJenK :

There is no real set time, it is truly up to you and your family norms around this....

CoachJenK :

I can say that kids do much better with a routine and keeping to the same schedule day after day and night after night even if there is no school.

CoachJenK :

a few minutes here or there isn;t crucial.

CoachJenK :

what time are they going in now?

Customer:

around ten o'clock, and I think that is too late


 

CoachJenK :

yes way too late...for sure...how are their moods during the day?

Customer:

they are okay. It is just that they fall asleep on the sofa around 10 PM, and then my husband carries them to bed. By then I am long asleep (have to get up early). We argue a lot about this, and I realized that I really didn't know what a good bed time is.


 

CoachJenK :

I think for them it should be in bed by 8....bath time before...stories in bed and leave the room by 8:15

CoachJenK :

It wont be met without protest, but this routine is a healthy one for them and for you.

CoachJenK :

plus they should be falling asleep in their beds and not the couch

CoachJenK :

and the two of you need to be on the same page for sure as they will pick up on it and use it to their advantage when you begin to make the switch.

CoachJenK :

if you decide to make this switch then talk with them about it before hand and make it fun...

CoachJenK :

mommy and daddy are going to do some new and fun things before bedtime with you.

CoachJenK :

we will have dinner, then take a cozy bath, get you in your pjs and get you into your beds. We will read some books and then hug and kiss goodnight.

CoachJenK :

Mommy and Daddy are tired at night and we need that time too to sleep in our bed alone.

CoachJenK :

remember you are not asking their position only letting them know in advance what the change will be

CoachJenK :

*permission

CoachJenK :

you will also see an improvemtn in your relationship with your husband if you stick to this EVERY night.

CoachJenK :

are you still with me?

CoachJenK :

let me know if i can still help you

Expert:  earthsister replied 2 years ago.
Bed time for children may change with the seasons. In the summer, as it stays sunny longer, it may be difficult to get a child to fall asleep before dark. Depending on where you live, it is generally dark, or getting there by 9pm. If you must have the children in bed before this (and even if 9pm is a good time for both you and your husband), be sure that your boys are getting enough stimulation and activity during the day (along with a good diet,and little or no sugar) so that they will be mentally and physically tired when the evening arrives. Active children during the day make for tired children at night. I wish you all the best!
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
I wanted to touch base again as I believe there may have been some technical issues in the chat as it kept initializing and then saying you were stepping in and out.

I think in addition to talking about the proper bed time you are also talking about some deeper parental issues of you and your spouse not being on the same page with things, setting a schedule and a routine and following through with it. I feel I might also sense some undermining of your desires so I am wondering if I am on target about that? Sugar and daylight aren't really the factors here...it seems more about boundaries and following through as long as you and your husband agree.

I am sorry that the chat was closed by the other expert responding, but you can respond to me here and write for Jen at the beginning so I know you are wanting to communicate with me. I look forward to hearing back from you.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1743
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
Coach Jen K. and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered