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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Child Care
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
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Can it do more harm than good if a parent spanks their child

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Can it do more harm than good if a parent spanks their child out of anger and frustration and WITHOUT explaining to the child why what they did is wrong?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: Other.
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Good afternoon, this is Howard,

Yes, spanking a child out of anger and frustration, without explaining to the child why he is being punished, can definitely be harmful to the child. Even if it is explained to the child why what he did is wrong, spanking is still not the best way to address this issue. There are many behavior modification techniques which are far more effective than spanking.

You will find some information about other techniques at the website indicated below:

http://www.squidoo.com/behavior-modification-for-children

Please feel free to post a follow-up question if you like you I am here to help!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Can a child grow up to become bitter if such a thing happens without the parent in a calm, cool, and collected way explaining something like this?: "Son, I love you, but I am going to spank you because what you did was wrong. Son, imagine if you owned a donut shop and someone came and stole donuts and as a result, it would hurt your business. How would you feel? That's how the grocery store manager felt when you shoplifted from his store. That is why I am going to spank you because I want you to realize that it is wrong to steal and because I want you to grow up to be an honest adult."
Yes, it is certainly a possibility that a child can grow up to become bitter if something like this happens too often. Telling a child that you love him and you're going to spank him it is very confusing. He may begin associating pain with love and, as a result, his adult relationships may be very dysfunctional and unhealthy.

Regarding the dough nuts, I think it's fair to ask the boy to put himself in the position of the dough nut shop owner. Hopefully, that will help him to empathize with the owner, and change his inappropriate behavior. Spanking, however, is not recommended. In our modern age, spanking, when it leaves bruises or marks, is considered to be child-abuse.
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