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professional_Alison
professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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I just received a call from my sons school informing me that

Resolved Question:

I just received a call from my sons school informing me that my 6yr old in 1st grade was informing/demonstrating with his finger/or thumb to the other children how a girl licks a boys penis. When the principal asked him where he had learned this he said one time when we were at my parents friends house and their son was watching videos on his computer. I recall this incident very well. My husband and I along with both our sons, 10yr old & 6yr old were at friends visiting when my 6yr old came down stairs and told us about our friends son (12yrs old) watching these videos. Our friends son of course denied this however my oldest and another little boy confirmed that it was true. So now that my child has witnessed this and decided to share with other little children at school I am mortified! The principal said that they would be contacting the other parents to let then know what their children had heard at school and that my sons punishment would be sitting at "silent" lunch for the rest of the week. He said if this would have been a 5th grader they probably would have suspended him from school but because he is only in 1st grade and even though that he could tell my son felt bad and ashamed for what he did, didn't think he fully understood what he was doing or saying. I agree with this and am thankful that the school understands but how do I approach this at home? I am of course going to sit him down and talk to him but how should I punish him and how do I handle the other parents? I feel bad that I know if someone had said this to my son as a perent I would advise my son to not associate with that kid anymore. Please help how do I handle this?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 2 years ago.

professional_Alison :

Hello there, may I help you?

Customer : Yes!
professional_Alison :

Your son has witnessed a video which is completely inapproriate for his age and understanding, he probably thinks at 6 years old it is funny to share what he has seen with other children in his class. He probably has no concept of the seriousness of what he has actually done.

professional_Alison :

Although you do need to deal with the situation if you make too much of it you may cause more harm than good. I think you need to sit him down and explain that that video was an adults video and was not something you would ever want him to see as a little boy. Also explain that it has upset teacher and children in the class and caused him to get into trouble and must not happen again.

professional_Alison :

It is more important to talk about the situation so he fully understands the seriousness of the situation rather than punish him.

professional_Alison :

If you consider what he has seen in his immaure understanding he probably thinks it very funny to see a girl licking a boys private area. However others may not see it like this, especially other parents of children in his class.

professional_Alison :

I would advise getting him to write a letter of apology to the principle of the school to demonstrate that he recognises he has done wrong.

professional_Alison :

As for other parents of children in the class, they should not be told who disclosed the information, if parents do find out, all you can do is sincerely apologise and reassure them that you have dealt with the situation and it will never happen again.

professional_Alison :

Its important to remember that your son was not trying to cause upset to anyone with this knowledge, more trying to be funny and show off.

professional_Alison :

I hope this has answered your question. Please accept if I have, if not please let me know how I can assist you further.

Customer : I know and I think that is why the school was so understanding. Thank you! I think the letter is a goos idea and will help him to understand the seriousness of what he did!
professional_Alison :

Yes I think they would be right saying he was probably very embarresed and ashamed when he got into trouble.

professional_Alison :

I hope you get the matter sorted soon and it passes out of the limelight at school as soon as possible.

Customer : Thank you!
professional_Alison :

Your welcome, do contract me again if you need further advice, I would be happy to help.

professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience: Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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