How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
65591635
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Rafael M.T.Therapist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a very good friend whos 14year old daughter has been

Resolved Question:

I have a very good friend who's 14year old daughter has been getting into trouble alot at school and self harming. My friend has spoke to her daughter and she confided in her mum that she feels confused by her sexuality. She says she likes girls but thinks she also likes boys but is not sure if her feelings towards boys/flirting with boys is just because she thinks this is the normal thing to do. My friend has now been called into school who have got the police in as her daughter has been carrying a knife and has threatened a pupil with it because they have been bullying her about her sexuality. My friend went through a stage at the age of 16 of thinking she was gay and had a relationship with a girl she has explained this to her daughter and tried to explain she knows how she is feeling but her daughter just shuts off. Where do you suggest my friend goes with this situation? any help/advice greatly recieved as i am worried for them both.
Thank you
Sarah
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 2 years ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know your friend and her daughter are going through this painful situation.

Customer:

what would you advise as a next step for my friend?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Your friend revealing her own personal homosexual relationship as a teenager was assertive. But it is obvious this young person has been holding on a lot about this serious confusion and fueling an inner conflict about it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The first thing to work on in the openness and closeness of their communication. Pushing her would not help but create further anxiety and guilt. Her violent behavior at school shows how defensive and overwhelmed she has become because of external pressure and her own conflicts about it.

Customer:

her mum was in a violent relationship for years which her daughter witnessed could this be a factor in the self harming and aggressive behaviour?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The school must hold accountability for making it sure no bullying episodes happen again around this issue. She needs to trust and vent, work on clarifying her mind and heart about her experiences and fears. In scenarios like this people hold in so much, mentally and emotionally that gets literally overwhelmed, so their need to empathy, understanding and support is huge. That’s the role her mom and family need to have right now.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely, and it could have also led to her confusion about sexual preferences. Young people victims of abuse or who witness abuse –then become victim of it too in indirect direct ways- between parents or those who play that role, could develop deep fear around potential for further abuse in their own personal relationships, and that could pay a big role in beholding the “safer” option of dating or trusting more females than males.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

She is a victim too from those years of abuse and domestic violence, and that use to create deep problems, from depression to anxiety disorders, and self-harm is a common way people develop when feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to cope, they find a sense of immediate relief and control in it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

She requires psychotherapy/counseling support in order to work on past victimization, conflicts, issues around bullying, better communication with mom and her support system, and anything undermining her mood and functioning.

Customer:

we thought counselling would be the next step

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely. Individual counseling plus collateral session with mother-and family sessions if necessary.

Customer:

thank you

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. I hope she gets better with adequate support from family and counseling.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thanks for your trust.

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    19
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
108 Satisfied Customers
MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach