How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. G. Your Own Question

Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1467
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Dr. G. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My daughter will be turning 4 in June and she has recenlty

This answer was rated:

My daughter will be turning 4 in June and she has recenlty started having potty accidents both at home and at preschool. She seems to ignore her cues that its time to go or doesn't want to stop what she is doing or afraid another child will take the toy she is playing with. She will just stand there and pee (or sit down) and sometimes other accidents too. We are working hard to spend 1 on 1 time with her and not react negatively. She is now in charge of cleaning up as well. It is happening 3-4 times daily. We are going to get a urine sample and test her too. We moved 3 weeks ago, but we are in the same neighborhood and nothing else has changed. Ever since she was potty trained at 2 1/2 she has continued to have accidents but never like this. It might have been 1-2 a week. I am so worried and I want to do everything I can to help her. Help!
I wonder why you think she is not getting enough attention? I would try to do a reward system for every time she goes to the bathroom on her own. Make the rewards very tantalizing for her. see if that does not improve. If no improvement after a few weeks, then take her to the doctor and ask about a nerve that can be pinched which would not allow her to feel the sensation of needing to go to the bathroom.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.


I just wonder if she is trying to get my attention by having accidents because then that pulls me away from her sister to be with her. I try very hard to divide my time between my two girls. They are both very mommy focused, wanting me to do everything with them, not Daddy. But when I am not around (working or traveling) then they are just fine with Daddy. Why do children typically regress or have accidents at this age?

When a younger sibling is introduced then the behavior is typical. However, the sibling is 2, and this should not be the reason. so now you are saying she can control it with her father? If this is true then: 1) have her father deal with it, and 2) this is pure manipulation. Still try the reward but also she can definitely clean it up and maybe sit in it for awhile until it is uncomfortable.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Sorry, She still has accidents with her Dad, I meant that she doesn't whine for me when Im not there. She will have accidents at friends homes too when she is playing and just doesn't want to stop what she is doing. I am trying to figure out if its that she doesn't realize she has to go or if she doesn't care or is just so focused on her toys. Is that manipulation? And why would they increase now? Do you think a move to a new house in the same neighborhood would be enough to do that. She used to be at home w/ a nanny for 3 days a week and then in January we moved her to preschool full time. I also work from home. Thanks for your help!


I don't see the move as causing it. If she is not exhibiting signs of anxiety about going to school then that would not be the reason either. I think the best way to tell if it is really about attention is to really make it uncomfortable for her to get the attention by wetting herself. In other words, praise and reward her when she goes to the potty and ignore/punish her when she goes on herself. Within a couple of weeks you should see less wetting. If not, then you have your answer as to whether it is about attention or not. Then, take her to the doctor and talk about the nerve that blocks a person from feeling when they have to go to the bathroom.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1467
Experience: Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
Dr. G. and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Ok last question. I have heard not to punish her for accidents. I am concerned about thatl.
Well, how do we know they are accidents??? that is what we will be testing out for the next few weeks. If they continue in spite of being rewarded and punished then we know it is something more than just manipulation and attention.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Cher's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
  • Jennifer's Avatar


    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • professional_Alison's Avatar


    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • Dr. Shirley Schaye's Avatar

    Dr. Shirley Schaye


    Satisfied Customers:

    PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
  • Eveningstargazer's Avatar


    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Related Parenting Questions