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professional_Alison
professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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My grandsons parents have joint custody of their children.

Resolved Question:

My grandson's parents have joint custody of their children. The eldest is 11 and because of past physical abuse as well as continued verbal abuse, is very unhappy and does not want to see his mother or spend any time with her. He and his brother currently stay with her Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and alternate weekends. Is he able to refuse to see her?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 5 years ago.

professional_Alison : Hello there, may I help you?
professional_Alison : it is really down to you whether you think he is emotionally mature enough to make this decision, if seeing his mother is not enriching his life and making him unhappy it may be for the beat but it has to be his decision .
Customer:

Thank you it is certainly not enriching his life and is making him unhappy but I really need to know whether the court can insist that he sees his mother or whether at 11 he is able to decide for himself. His is an extremely mature 11 year old and has a very good understanding of the situation and is more than capable of making an informed decision. There is a long and complex background but suffice to say that his mother is extremely difficult and will use any method to get her own way. I would have thought that a child of 11 who is so obviously unhappy should at least be listened to and his wishes considered and taken into account. My understanding is that the court have said that he "should be encouraged to see his mother" but it seems that his wishes are being ignored.

professional_Alison : I think this is something you would have 2 discuss with the court, at 11 they would consider him too young to make an informed decision but he would need to be assessed as to his understanding and maturity.(
professional_Alison : You cannot be see to be swaying his decision either.
professional_Alison : You are stuck in a catch 22 situation, of doing what is required by the court and listening to you young mans wishes. My advice to you is to move forward and try to get your grandsons wishes listened to and action taken ASAP. X
Customer:



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