I am so sorry to hear of all of this for all of you.
The stress of it all isn't wonderful for anyone involved. is there a way to back track a bit to take the pressure off? I know that you live together but is it possible to change the nature of the relationship almost to like how it was before everyone moved in? The reason I say this is because of your overwhelm and your worry whether you should go through with the marriage. Is there a way to structure the living arrangement so it is more like two friends living together? And I am only suggesting this since you have expressed your concern for your daughter and for his kids.
If moving out with your daughter and keeping up family ties with his kids is not an option then it becomes about creating that same type of environment in your current living situation but removing the stress of the potential marriage and couple relationship.
and this can be both a parenting and relationship question as we are dealing with both issues.
I see you have gone offline, so I am around if you need more support. I am here to help.
Hi, I missed the chat but did see your response. I am going to respond again later, because I'm at work. Just wondering in the meantime, are you suggesting we live as friends? We pretty much just argue and he sleeps in another room, or if with me he leaves cause he is so stressed out he isn't really sleeping at night... and he's upset that we don't have sex much anymore, which I think is just ridiculous considering the constant fighting. Are you suggesting that as a way to keep the kids ok, like "staying together for the kids" idea - or are you suggesting that as something that could actually help our relationship?
Hi. I think I was trying to follow your lead....since you said you didnt want to upset the kids and their connections i was suggesting that you "end" the relationship but live as family roomies...if that is possible. If you hadnt siad anything about worrying for your daughter I would most likely be telling that it seems like the relationship has run its course and neither of you seem happy. So, I just want to help you figure out what works best for you, what you truly want and need and if you decide to leave how we can help ease the transition for all.
Hi thank you so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it, and it made me think about "ending" the relationship part for a bit of time, even if not a true breakup (until we know for sure) could help take the weight off and put the arguing aside for a while. I want to try that before going further. Yes, worrying about my daughter - I don't want her to live with hearing arguing or feeling negative energy, etc. again, thank you, XXXXX XXXXX you for listening!