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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hi, I am the father of a 19 yr old daugther and we (wife and

Customer Question

Hi, I am the father of a 19 yr old daugther and we (wife and I) are very frustratred because:

-She used to be focuses on what she wanted, now that seems to have gone and she NEEDS a boyfriend.
-She went off to University early and does not seem to want to get involved in Uni things
- Has low self-esteem, admits it herselfm but does nothing about it
- low sef-condidence and needs personal development
- as parents we have always been very clost to her, expecially her mother and now it seems Makenzie (daugher) does not have much to say to us or does not seem interested in us; does not want to hear our advice; not into drugs or drinking; seems to have not respect for us anymore; when she is home with us on breaks she seems to GET IT; but goes away and becomes instantly stupid!


backround: She has CF, but is very healthy nontheless; She went to VET school at 17 due to hard work and focus; She has often lacked self-confidence; does better when active in school and extra activities; worked very hard to get where she is, but we see that not happening now and she seems to be mostly worried about her new boyfriend....to the point that when he did something she knew was not good, she sat around for days wating for him to text or phone her and could not do much else.

any advice?

thanks,

Jon
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and Thank You very much for consulting Just Answer. The new experience of having a boyfriend and going away to college is very demanding for your daughter. She is torn between meeting the needs of the boyfriend and academic needs. It sounds as though that she has put the personal happiness and satisfaction of her boyfriend above her own needs. The boyfriend may also be manipulating her attitude toward school as well as about how she feels about herself. It is difficult for her to handle.

Therefore, she must want to change. She needs to refocus on her schooling. You should seek professional in person counseling for her since you have already tried phone counseling and she will not listen to you. Additionally, a family member like a trusted cousin or aunt maybe able to break through to your daughter. Your daughter needs to step back and really look at the situation without the "rose colored glasses" . She has all the power in the world to stay on the right track but it seems as though this boyfriend has become her life.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Do you recommend any programs or seminars in the UK or USA? We are US Citizens who live in the UK right now....

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