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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1723
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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My daughter has 5 1/2 month fraternal twins. Neither one sleeps

Resolved Question:

My daughter has 5 1/2 month fraternal twins. Neither one sleeps through the night but they do not wake up at the same time. She has tried different systems such as waking both at 10 and then waking the second baby when the first one wakes up. All and all she is not getting much sleep. The house does not allow for them to be in different rooms although they don't seem to wake each other up.

Any advice?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi welcome.

Customer:

Hi

CoachJenK :

You got the right person...not only am i an expert in the parenting category, but i have 3 year old boy/girl twins so i have been through it

Customer:

My daughter also has a 2 year old. My husband and I help her out during the day.

CoachJenK :

she is dealing with a lot.

CoachJenK :

tell me about the routine a bit....before bed and how often they wake and what happens when they wake, etc?

Customer:

Her husband totally takes care of the 2 year old although he also prepares the bath, towels etc. She usually bathes each one (using soap every other day) and then someone who is helping dresses the first baby while she bathes the second Then they have a bottle and go down with a pacifier. They seem to go to sleep right off by 6:30 or 7.

Customer:

As I said they've tried different strategies: feeding both at 10, waiting for one to wake up etc.

CoachJenK :

ok sounds like a nice pre routine

CoachJenK :

and at 10 is it because one is waking up? or is it a dream feed?

Customer:

One girl has always been a bit bigger than the other but the "little" one is catching up. The routine has always worked well with their older boy although now he bathes every other day but has quite a few books that he reads with his dad before he goes to bed.

Customer:

What is a dream feed?

CoachJenK :

a dream feed is when your baby hasnt woken up but you give a bottle just to get something in with the idea that they sleep longer...some people swear by it and others feel it makes no difference.

CoachJenK :

so are they waking up at 10pm on their own?

Customer:

sometimes one does and sometimes they go up to feed before they go to bed themselves.

Customer:

they are definitely waking up at 2, 3, or 4 by themselves!

CoachJenK :

They are also approaching the age where nightime feeding isnt necessary. I would talk to the pediatrician about this depending upon their weight etc. And what happens when they wake these different times...she goes in and gives the paci?

Customer:

often to the larger girl. I'm not sure of her weight...that would probably be helpful to know.

Customer:

She started solids but is thinking it is interfering with the calories they are getting from the formula during the day.

CoachJenK :

I would call pediatrician about that to get their feeling. I will also say that if the twons were born early they are not really 5 1/2 months yet so they might not be ready yet to sleep through the night....thats bad news i know but she can gently start to get a better routine for them. I remember going through the same thing and i found that i was putting them down around the same time she is, but it was a bit early and when i put them down a bit later around 8pm they were able to make it longer...as they got older and began sleeping through the night I made their bed time earlier again

CoachJenK :

I stopped going in a giving a paci as well so they could learn on their own to fall back asleep..those nights were not easy but it is survivable.

Customer:

Her older boy was and is an excellent eater. He was fussy during the day because he might have been hungry! These girls have been a bit of a challenge. One is on soy and one on regular similac. The "soy" baby takes the plain latex nipple better than the fancier "breast" brand. She has a smaller capacity. That being said the larger baby always has trouble keeping a pacifier in and is more restless (she's the one that my daughter is keeping in a swaddle.)

Customer:

I'll pass on your advice. I know she was going to try reducing the pacifier over the weekend.

Customer:

They love the fact that they have the three kids in bed by 8 and have a few hours to themselves. It is so hectic from the time my son-in-law walks through the door!

CoachJenK :

It is not an easy time for sure but i believe with some consistent routines and the pediatricians opinion about nightitme feedings things will ease up.

Customer:

I'll pass that on...thanks....You've been helpful and I want you to get whatever is due you, but I thought this month's subscription was free.

Customer:

BTW do your twins sleep in the same room/

CoachJenK :

I know that feeling well, but pushing it back a bit can hep them make it a bit longer and you may get them to 6 because if you put them down by 6:30 they are going to be hungry in the middle of the night and the goal is for them to sleep at night and not eat.I might give that last bottle at 7:45...a nice burp, a good swaddle and loving pats and good night.

CoachJenK :

Yes they are still in the same room. Even if you have a subscription I only get paid if you click accept when we are done.

Customer:

good compromise. o.k. Do I understand if there is a question on the same topic there is no fee/

CoachJenK :

I dont understand that last question...a question on the same topic? meaning if you request me again at a later point?

Customer:

I had one other chat with a physician and I told her my husband wasn't home yet and he might have a question about the same issue. She said if the question was about the same issue there would be no additional fee.

CoachJenK :

If you cam eback to that chat with them and you hadn't clicked accept yet then there wouldnt be another one. But even if you had clicked accept but you wanted more info and he gave it to you, you do have the option to click accept again which would pay that physician twice. As experts, we only get paid when you are satisfied and click accept.

CoachJenK :

does that make sense?

Customer:

I did ask her if I would tie her up if I left the chat up and she said yes, so I didn't want to do that...but we were talking $55.00 not ten. BTW the girls were full term but one was 5 1/2 pounds and one was 7 1/2 pounds, so we realize we are dealing with two very different babies. I know it will all work out...thanks again..I will accept.

CoachJenK :

Yes it will. If it helps at all...mine were sleeping through the night by 8 months so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Tell her to hang on. thank you for accepting and come back at anytime and request me. Have a wonderful evening. the babies are lucky to have you.

Customer:

As a friend said," Some people think having twins is a condition, I think it is a miracle and a blessing!" How true.

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1723
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
Coach Jen K. and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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