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professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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Dealing with character traits that push buttons - I am recently

Resolved Question:

Dealing with character traits that push buttons -
I am recently divorced, and moving on trying to be the best part time father I can be.
I am seeing traits in my children that appear to be too similar to their mother that it bothers me.
ex: My son, 5 years old, is learning to ride his bike. A week ago, being the kamikase that he is, I took his training wheels off and tried to start teaching. He did great and made alot of progress. My personal feeling was that he would be riding like a pro in no time, as long as he was patient, resilient, and confident.
This weekend, he is feeling really timid, nervous, and actually was "worrying" himself to fall down and fail. He wanted to return to the training wheels, saying " I cant do it".
While I consider myself a relatively understanding, patient, and caring teacher, I tend to have troubles with quitting when you have already done something.
Their mother was very similar to this, quitting things right before completing them, just for the sake of failing. Or so it seems.
Am I looking at this wrong?
Am I not being understanding?
I dont like the idea of "quitting", so, what approach can I take to be a better "father" in this situation?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 2 years ago.

professional_Alison :

Hello there, may I help you?

professional_Alison :

In this situation you son seems to be lacking in confidence the key here is to be patient, remain calm and keep giving positive encouragement, try not to react to the negative "I can't" but reply with "let me help you" and "lets do it together". It you feel frustrated just stop, take a deep breath and remember he will pick up on your frustrations.

professional_Alison :

Keep praising all the time and turn the negative into a positive. Use example stories to support him and let him know that practise makes perfect. For example when you were young and were learning to ride a bike you remember how hard it was and you thought you'd never be able to do it. Then one day you just got it...just like that, and it was the best feeling in the world, etc etc.

professional_Alison :

The other thing is also to let him know that it is ok if you fall off, thats part of learning and encourage him to get right back on! Dont push him but practise in small bursts and go back to it. You will be doing a great job if you focus on the above advise to help you son.

professional_Alison :

If I have answered your question please accept, please pm me if i can help you further.

professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience: Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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