Hello there, may I help you?
Having read your detailed information, no one can say you havent tried, your son has taken from you time and time again and by the sounds of things has no intention of stopping, especially if he is using the money to buy drugs. He is 17 and old enough to stand on his own two feet in terms of getting a job and earning his own money. I understand that you dont want your son to have a criminal record but you could report him and not press charges and hope it scares him enough to stop. Alternatively if he comes back you have to be very firm and say this is the last chance and if he steals again he will have to leave. You have to think of your other children too. This is not his property to sell, if he chooses to sell his own things thats his choice but not things that belong to you and your family.
I think if you son has gone of his own accord let him get on with it, he is the one that has done wong not you, I believe he will be back and when he does, explain how hard you have tried to help, hiw many chances you have given him and that this is the last. If he does it again, it was his choice and he knew the consequences.
Reading what you said about his father is terrible but not an excuse to steel from his family and smoke drugs, you sound like a very supportive mother, you have clearly tried all you can and love your son very much. I think if he comes back it may be best to have a letter ready saying all you need to, he can walk away from you but cant avoid reading a letter and thinking about it. He may reading it more than once too. It is also avoiding confrontation with him.
Please message me if I can help you further, I hope this helps, please click accept if it does