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professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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My son 17 has been stealing from me for years. I have tried

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My son 17 has been stealing from me for years. I have tried everything from councelling, grounding, giving him money for jobs he has done you name it i have tried it. It is never enough he has to steal not just money my jewellery gone,DVD's, console games. He always promises it stops no I won't do it again.
He is smoking weed as I do random drug testing but the stealing started way before the drug smoking started.
The other day the Wii went all the games and accessories that go with it, this was his 8 year old brothers. I went straight down to the shop that buys them. Thankfully they were very helpful once I explained the situation and the wii and the fit board were still on test, though he had sold all the games for 60 quid which the shop let me have back at what he got for them they also closed his account, though that won't solve anything he will pass it on to someone else to sell.I told them that when my son returned to tell him I know and that the police had been informed which they did. The shop should of notified the police but I don't want my son ending up with a criminal record.
I am at my wits end, I haven't seen my son since. I just don't know what to do I can't live like this any more I have to take my bag to bed with me, count the DVD's and games almost daily.
Should I just let him get on with it or go look for him. I have no idea anymore all my family are saying leave him but he's my son and I love him dearly.
I divorced his father when he was 4 and his sister was 7 he did have regular contact with him until my daughter told us he had sexually abused her. He went to prison though was released last year. He has always said he wasn't abused by his dad but my daughter says different though has never confronted him about it. I have been with my current partner for 13 years he gets on well with him most of the time and we have a little boy of 8 and he has a very good relationship with him no jealousy and will entertain him for hours.
At first I thought it was just a phase but it's lasted too long I can't see him ever changing which is sad because he has a caring side to him. Any advice would be great. Thank you.

professional_Alison :

Hello there, may I help you?

professional_Alison :

Having read your detailed information, no one can say you havent tried, your son has taken from you time and time again and by the sounds of things has no intention of stopping, especially if he is using the money to buy drugs. He is 17 and old enough to stand on his own two feet in terms of getting a job and earning his own money. I understand that you dont want your son to have a criminal record but you could report him and not press charges and hope it scares him enough to stop. Alternatively if he comes back you have to be very firm and say this is the last chance and if he steals again he will have to leave. You have to think of your other children too. This is not his property to sell, if he chooses to sell his own things thats his choice but not things that belong to you and your family.

professional_Alison :

I think if you son has gone of his own accord let him get on with it, he is the one that has done wong not you, I believe he will be back and when he does, explain how hard you have tried to help, hiw many chances you have given him and that this is the last. If he does it again, it was his choice and he knew the consequences.

professional_Alison :

Reading what you said about his father is terrible but not an excuse to steel from his family and smoke drugs, you sound like a very supportive mother, you have clearly tried all you can and love your son very much. I think if he comes back it may be best to have a letter ready saying all you need to, he can walk away from you but cant avoid reading a letter and thinking about it. He may reading it more than once too. It is also avoiding confrontation with him.

professional_Alison :

Please message me if I can help you further, I hope this helps, please click accept if it does

professional_Alison :


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