How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask professional_Alison Your Own Question

professional_Alison
professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
professional_Alison is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My son 17 has been stealing from me for years. I have tried

Resolved Question:

My son 17 has been stealing from me for years. I have tried everything from councelling, grounding, giving him money for jobs he has done you name it i have tried it. It is never enough he has to steal not just money my jewellery gone,DVD's, console games. He always promises it stops no I won't do it again.
He is smoking weed as I do random drug testing but the stealing started way before the drug smoking started.
The other day the Wii went all the games and accessories that go with it, this was his 8 year old brothers. I went straight down to the shop that buys them. Thankfully they were very helpful once I explained the situation and the wii and the fit board were still on test, though he had sold all the games for 60 quid which the shop let me have back at what he got for them they also closed his account, though that won't solve anything he will pass it on to someone else to sell.I told them that when my son returned to tell him I know and that the police had been informed which they did. The shop should of notified the police but I don't want my son ending up with a criminal record.
I am at my wits end, I haven't seen my son since. I just don't know what to do I can't live like this any more I have to take my bag to bed with me, count the DVD's and games almost daily.
Should I just let him get on with it or go look for him. I have no idea anymore all my family are saying leave him but he's my son and I love him dearly.
I divorced his father when he was 4 and his sister was 7 he did have regular contact with him until my daughter told us he had sexually abused her. He went to prison though was released last year. He has always said he wasn't abused by his dad but my daughter says different though has never confronted him about it. I have been with my current partner for 13 years he gets on well with him most of the time and we have a little boy of 8 and he has a very good relationship with him no jealousy and will entertain him for hours.
At first I thought it was just a phase but it's lasted too long I can't see him ever changing which is sad because he has a caring side to him. Any advice would be great. Thank you.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 2 years ago.

professional_Alison :

Hello there, may I help you?

professional_Alison :

Having read your detailed information, no one can say you havent tried, your son has taken from you time and time again and by the sounds of things has no intention of stopping, especially if he is using the money to buy drugs. He is 17 and old enough to stand on his own two feet in terms of getting a job and earning his own money. I understand that you dont want your son to have a criminal record but you could report him and not press charges and hope it scares him enough to stop. Alternatively if he comes back you have to be very firm and say this is the last chance and if he steals again he will have to leave. You have to think of your other children too. This is not his property to sell, if he chooses to sell his own things thats his choice but not things that belong to you and your family.

professional_Alison :

I think if you son has gone of his own accord let him get on with it, he is the one that has done wong not you, I believe he will be back and when he does, explain how hard you have tried to help, hiw many chances you have given him and that this is the last. If he does it again, it was his choice and he knew the consequences.

professional_Alison :

Reading what you said about his father is terrible but not an excuse to steel from his family and smoke drugs, you sound like a very supportive mother, you have clearly tried all you can and love your son very much. I think if he comes back it may be best to have a letter ready saying all you need to, he can walk away from you but cant avoid reading a letter and thinking about it. He may reading it more than once too. It is also avoiding confrontation with him.

professional_Alison :

Please message me if I can help you further, I hope this helps, please click accept if it does

professional_Alison :

Thanks

professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience: Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
professional_Alison and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    91
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    91
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JA/JACUSTOMERbryjz898/2012-5-23_93829_me2.64x64.jpg Adviser Mills C.C.D.'s Avatar

    Adviser Mills C.C.D.

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    15
    15 years Plus, Preschool Owner, Teen Mentor