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professional_Alison
professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience:  Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
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Sleeping problem 13 months old

Resolved Question:

Hi, I have a 13 months old girl who has started fighting before sleeps since last week. I used to cuddle her and rock her in my arms for a short time (like 5 minutes) when she got sleepy and put her in her cot to sleep and everything was fine for the last 2-3 months(she was not an easy sleeper in the first 6 months of her life too but improved alot after started to have a routine) .Recently she has started refusing to be rocked or cuddled by me for sleep and if I insist she curl her back , cries and fights me .At the same time if I put her to cot she keeps sitting or standing up to play and refuse to lay down for hours! I was wondering why she is refusing my arms and what should I do?As I am usually busy during the days putting her to sleep in my arms was a great way of bonding for me and I am afriad that her refusal affects it . also I am not sure how much do I need to insist on the time of her sleep to teach her diciplline at this age and make it routine for her to try going to sleep when being put in her cot?Please advise me of the correct way.Many thanks
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 2 years ago.

professional_Alison :

Hello there, may I help you?

Customer:

Hi , Did you read my question?

professional_Alison :

If your child has decided she doesnt want to be cuddles before bed, that fine, imake the bedtime routine calm and relaxed, i.e quiet play, relaxing bath, perhaps a story, warm milk before placing her in her cot, try stoking her head and saying sleepy time now, give her a kis and place her in her cot. Even if she is standing or sitting it and it takes a while to go to sleep as long as she is not distressed then leave her, children go through different stages of sleep routines as they get older. If you think the time is appropriate dont change it. Stick with the routine, at 13 months she will learn to get herself off to sleep, make sure she is not too hot or cold, and the room is quite dark.

professional_Alison :

also if she has a sleep during the day consider cutting it down slightly. That ways she will be more tired when its night.

professional_Alison :

Also if she has a comforter make sure she has that, i.e a blanket or a soft toy.

Customer:

She usually sleeps 1-2 hours during the day, shall I stop it?because she is fighting it too and when finally goes to sleep its late in the afternoon like 3 pm to 5 pm and it prevents her to sleep soon at night

professional_Alison :

Perhaps cut it down to 1 hour she is quite young to cut out a day sleep all together.

professional_Alison :

can you try putting her down a little earlier in the day?

professional_Alison :

yes she is sleeping too late in the day that will make it harder to get her off at night.

Customer:

ok, I cut it down , thanks ....and it doesn't matter for my bonding with her shei is refusing being cuddled?

professional_Alison :

no try and have a little cuddle and story before bed and cuddles when she first wakes and is sleepy. It wont affect your bond, she will always come to you for cuddles.

Customer:

because she fights it during the day too! we start putting her to bed at 1 pm but she doest go until 3pm!

professional_Alison :

then give her an hour max to go to sleep and if she doesnt go then get her up. It may be better for her to go without a sleep if she doesnt go within that time and thenat night she will be tired.

Customer:

the last question......Does she need to be trianed to have dicipline for sleep at this age or is it still soon and sh e would'nt understand?

professional_Alison :

yes

professional_Alison :

if you keep going in to her or get her up when she doesnt go to sleep she will so learn you are at her becon call

professional_Alison :

give her reasonable time to go to sleep 1 hour max

professional_Alison :

as long as she is not crying leave her

Customer:

well she cries as soon as I leave the room

professional_Alison :

at night she will learn to selve sooth and eventually learn that at bedtime you wont keep coming to her and go off to sleep

professional_Alison :

leave her to cry, time it, and if it goes on for longer than 15-20 mins go in and talk quietly saying its bedtime now

Customer:

during the night its ok.....but putting her to sleep first sleep is the major problem

professional_Alison :

do the same again, another 20 mins then go in and dont talk, just stroke her head, dont get her out, leave it 20 mins each time

professional_Alison :

I think maybe leave her an hour max and getting her up in the day may be the answer

Customer:

but I have heard its not good for them to cry it out to sleep

Customer:

would'nt it affect her psychologically?

professional_Alison :

its a normal part of sleep training

professional_Alison :

no honestly

Customer:

:))

professional_Alison :

I knw its hard but its the best way for her to learn

professional_Alison :

it will quickly stop

professional_Alison :

hang in there!!

professional_Alison :

I hope I have helped you

Customer:

she gets to sleep comfortably with my mom during the days but she has time and let her play with her to sleep for 2 hours !!

Customer:

Yes you difinately did:)

professional_Alison :

I must go to work now, will check in again in 3 hours so if you think of anything else message me and i'll reply then

Customer:

Thanks alot for your time

professional_Alison :

no problem, glad I could help!

Customer:

sure, thanks

professional_Alison :

Please accept it your happy with my answer

Customer:

sure:)

professional_Alison :

thanks!

professional_Alison, Child Care
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 78
Experience: Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
professional_Alison and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  professional_Alison replied 2 years ago.
Hi, just thought I'd see how things are going?? How's your daughter's sleeping??

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