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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1722
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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My daughter is graduating from high school this year. We have

Resolved Question:

My daughter is graduating from high school this year. We have narrowed it down to two colleges: one is 30 miles from our home and she would live on campus; the other is local, and she would live at home. Finances are not an issue and both schools are similar in size and offer her major. She wants to live in a dorm and get the "real college" experience. Some people tell me it is necessary for growth and maturation and others tell me that is ridiculous! (I lived at home while attending college, graduated and have progressed just fine in life. Since I come from a large family, going away was not an option.) She's an only child and has lived a pretty sheltered existence, but says she wants to take this opportunity to spread her wings and meet new people. I tell my husband we should embrace it and encourage her, but I have to admit... I am a little worried as well and tend to vascillate on any given day depending on which group of parents I encounter. Other people tell me that because of her naivity, she will fall prey to "more experienced" students. What do you think?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi Welcome.

CoachJenK :

I can understand your worry and fear about letting her spread her wings, but I do believe at some point we need to let our kids spread their wings and in this case, it seems like it is a great time as being away at college can be a fantastic experience. I am not sure I agree with her falling prey to more experienced students as this could have happened while she was in high school as well. I don't believe living away from home necessarily encourage that more. If you said to me that you daughter has a history of picking friends that are not a great influence and have caused her troulb ein the past, then I might agree to have her live at home would be best.

CoachJenK :

But if she has been a good kid and has made good choices in the past, then relying on her abilities will help her to fly as well. The support, trust and encouragement from you can go a long way. The college is not that far away and that is a good thing to test it out and see how it goes.

Customer:

She is a good kid and has made good choices. Okay. Thank you.

CoachJenK :

always hard when you enlist others to give you their opinions because you know and trust your child the best. So again if she has been a good kid and hasn't given reason to worry about falling in with the wrong crowd then it could be a great thing for her devlopment.

CoachJenK :

That sounds great. I am glad to hear that.

Customer:

I haven't really enlisted the help of others...they just feel free to tell you what they think:)

CoachJenK :

And I think you and your husband have done a great job if you are able to say that about her...so trust in that

Customer:

Everyone has an opinion.

CoachJenK :

ahh the lovely space of parenting...I am familiar with that.

CoachJenK :

How very annoying

CoachJenK :

but again you know her best and trust that. If you see her making some bad choices then you can always have her move back home and you can let her know in advance what you expect from her if you let her go away....have the conversation about drinking, drugs, etc the same way as you did with her when she entered that age in high school.

Customer:

Okay. We have always had a very open line of communication and are really close, so that will not be a problem. Thank you for you time.

CoachJenK :

my pleasure. come back anytime and if you feel our time together was helpful please click accept and provide feedback.

Customer:

Okay...will do.

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1722
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
Coach Jen K. and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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