How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask LicensedTherapist Your Own Question

LicensedTherapist
LicensedTherapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 57
Experience:  Family Therapist, Couples Therapist
65779447
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
LicensedTherapist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my daughter is 19 and a freshman at college. She has straight

Resolved Question:

my daughter is 19 and a freshman at college. She has straight As.
after being home for spring break, she left her diary. unfortunately, i
read it. in one semester, she has lost her virginity, tried marijuana and
seems to have gotten drunk on several occassions. How do I approach her?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  LicensedTherapist replied 2 years ago.
Hi there- I know that reading those things in her diary must have really come as a shock to you. It sounds like you're close with your daughter and that maybe you read your daughter's diary because you are feeling out of the loop since she went to college. Perhaps you feel hurt that she did not tell you these things rather than that she did them. It sounds like you are a very caring mother who really wants to keep a close relationship with your daughter.

I just wanted to reassure you that these behaviors are entirely normal for college students. Besides, maybe she will decide that she just wanted to try some things, but that they really aren't for her.

As for what to do, I would sit down and ask your daughter how college life is and really just ask a lot of questions-- ask about her friends, ask about what she does on the weekends, ask about boys. I'm not sure whether you should fess up about the diary-- i'm on the fence because I see both sides. I guess it would have to depend on your relationship. It kind of seems like you want to confess because you feel guilty. If so, then I'd say go for it and be honest with her. Tell her you're very sorry and that you only did it because you wanted to feel close to her again. Hopefully whatever you decide to do about telling her, she will take this opportunity to tell you some personal things about what has been going on. Also, if she doesn't tell you about these things, it's okay. She's becoming an independent woman and she is trying to figure out how to be an adult and have an adult relationship with her mother. If you guys were close before, she will most likely return to this close relationship once she is done trying to figure some things out.

I hope this helps you... You seem like a wonderful mother and I wish you and your daughter best of luck.
LicensedTherapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 57
Experience: Family Therapist, Couples Therapist
LicensedTherapist and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered