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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Help! My teenage son comes home with money, expensive items

Resolved Question:

Help! My teenage son comes home with money, expensive items from school and steals from his family. His father and I see things very different. I believe we need to find out where the stuff comes from and talk to the parents to actually see if it was stolen. His father believes our son will eventually "hang himself" so to speak and he should not be monitored. He recently stole gift cards from his step mother and bought things online. I think he should not be allowed to keep the items and work to pay off the debt. His father is allowing him to keep the stuff but pay him back the money. I don't want him to learn the lesson of stealing when its too late.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 2 years ago.

Rafael Morales Toia :

I can see why you feel this concerned.

Rafael Morales Toia :

I do totally support your approach of things about this specific scenario.

Rafael Morales Toia :

Allowing him to keep things he took without taking responsibility about it and changing his behavior just does not help but enables him.

Customer:

How do I get on the same page with my ex husband.

Rafael Morales Toia :

When both parents are not implementing the same approach and disciplienm, that creates a bigger issue fueling further conflict with child and not allowing a healthy solution. You need to confront him about it, set new boundaries and if he does not show willingness to change...

Rafael Morales Toia :

you would need to consider further actions.

Rafael Morales Toia :

You both share equal custody?

Customer:

no he has custody

Rafael Morales Toia :

He is the only one with total custody you mean?

Rafael Morales Toia :

The behaviors your son is presenting are serious enough to justify professional intervention.

Rafael Morales Toia :

To allow things to keep the way they are would lead your son to self-destroy his present and future and to get involved in much more serious issues, at the personal, family and legal levels.

Rafael Morales Toia :

In case you have no custody at all you could gat legal support in order to request the Family &Children Court to consider giving you custody rights after considering the neglect and enabling of dysfunctional and illegal behaviors by his father. But all would depend on what you truly want to afford here.

Rafael Morales Toia :

What I know and alert here is how things could evolve if somebody does not intervene here getting the right support for your son.

Rafael Morales Toia :

Sooner or later people would start finding out about this and other potential issues and he would get into a much more complicated scenario, and I do not think you neither his father would want to deal with that. He does need help and it must happen ASAP.

Rafael Morales Toia :

Please contact me for any further clarification-support.

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach