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KansasTherapist
KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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Hi I am a single working Mom with a 12 (13 in May) son. We

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Hi I am a single working Mom with a 12 (13 in May) son. We have constant power struggles. He is normally fairly calm but will fly off at silly things. This morning he couldn't find a certain hat and tore around and accused me of hiding it. I try to remain calm and just speak but on occasion I snap back. I guess I am having difficulties finding a balance.

KansasTherapist :

His behavior sounds pretty typical of kids his age. I wish I could tell you that he's going to grow out of it soon, but I'm afraid it's going to take a while. My son is 16, 17 in April, and I feel like he's just starting to be aware that how he treats people matters. No parent likes to be treated the way your son is treating you, and giving him consequences is a good idea, but don't expect it to have a huge effect. About the best you can do, is try to keep your cool, though everyone loses it some times, be firm and fair, be consistent.

KansasTherapist :

If I'm going in the wrong direction with this let me know.

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you I have to work on the consistent part. I often worry about him not having a close male role model. He has some friends that are 14 and I feel that I am constantly re-informing of things.
It would be good if he had a positive adult male in his life. Is there a Big Brother/Big Sisters program in your area?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
No I live in a small, remote community of 800. He is in the Scouts, has been for a few years but I feel it isn't enough. I guess I need to find a good boyfriend...lol which is also hard to do here.
Good boy friends are hard to find, even in a big community. I keep telling my husband how luck I was to find him, even though he thinks he's an ordinary guy.

The adult male in your son's life doesn't have to be someone you're interested in. After all, the guy could be married or have a girl friend, could be your best friend's husband or dad, but still be good with your son.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks I will have to hit up a friends husband perhaps.
Good luck and give your son a hug.
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