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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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with a split family. if a ex is remarried, and his wife said

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with a split family. if a ex is remarried, and his wife said AWFUL things about his 8 yrold daughter and her entire family did too (they all reside together) she insisted the 8yrold needed to see a therapist (for nonsense reasons) and refsed to let her over (ex refuses to stand up for his child) (hes a good parent in general but so scared of his wife) how in earth can this be dealt with?

-father will not stand up to his new wife (ever)
-biomom refuses the counceling because 8 yrold doesnt need it and any discussions resulted in no concrete reasons
-new wife says awful things about daughter
-if visitation is moved from the home, daughter will not see her half siblings and will be so confused and hurt
biomom wants to stand up for her daughter to the new wife, you need to protect your child?
Sadly, I've heard things like this before. Kids suffer while a parent tries to work out issues with a new spouse. In this case, no one else can work out the problems between the dad and his wife. It's apparent that the wife doesn't like her step daughter, and the dad is willing to let his wife have her way to keep the peace. At the same time, no one else can make the father/daughter relationship better except the two of them. I'm sure the little girl is upset and confused by the way she's being treated. I think the best thug for the mom to do is ask the dad to explain the situation to his daughter, rather than take on the responsibility herself.

Is there some reason, the step sibs can't come to the visit with dad when he sees the girl?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
step mom wont allow it. I wanted to stick up for my daughter, and tell step the mean things in reverse then ask her how mad she was and imgaine how i feel. and then say how daughter loves her and maybe she can try to get over it?
It is so upsetting and frustration when someone is mean to our kids. We would like to be able to do something about it, but in a situation like this one, there really isn't a while lot you can do. Since the step mom and her family say such bad things about your little girl, maybe it's better she doesn't have contact with them. Though she is hurt by her step mom not wanting her there, hopefully, she can understand it's not her fault, but some people just aren't nice or considerate. Again, I'd put it on her dad to explain to her what happened.
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