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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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Good afternoon, I have three children ages 9,11 and 13. My

Resolved Question:

Good afternoon,
I have three children ages 9,11 and 13. My main problems are getting them to do the following:

Wash their plates after a meal they will it lying around until I prompt them. I have applied consequences such as not having treats after meals, not eating till the kitchen is clean then we can cook and also making them do the night shift - waking them up after they have gone to bed to do the dishes.

Secondly, I am a single parent, I do not get back from until 3hours after they are home. I have warned them not to watch TV only between 6-8 when the home work is done. I started stopping them form watching TV by starting with a day, then weeks - until I locked it away for three months. That did not help because they started watchuing on the laptops - so I password XXXXX that allowed applied the same rules did not work so I started locking them away too.
So now i let them watch it when I am home. But - at home I would say to them switch off the TV get the chores done then you can watha abit of TV as soon as I turn my back its back on and this could happen 2ce in one evening. I remain clam and apply conmsequences, by getting them to clean the doors or do more washing.

Finally, they are always leaving clothes on the floor in the bathroom and in their rooms etc. All I would not let them out or attend a friends party until their room is clean - they still have not learnt theor lesson, even though they cry their eyes out. I have read many parenting books, recetly read one on creating boundaries for kids/teens. It seems nothing is working. Your advice will be appreciated. Kind Regards Khafayah
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing with your children. Since they do not respond to consequences that you impose, try changing things around a bit. Tell them clearly what you expect. Then REWARD them when they comply with your requests and demands. Children will often change their behavior when rewards are involved. You do not have to reward them each day but rather weekly if they have had a fairly good week of being obedient. They may like small monetary rewards, more time with friends, a special outing...whatever. They are probably tuning you out when you get upset when they do not follow your instructions. Try this method. It will not happen overnight but you will see some gradual changes.

Have a blessed day!
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for your response. I do get upset but I do not lode my temper and I am very calm with them too. Which they have noticed as well.

 

I will try rewarding them hopefully that will make a change.

 

Warm Regards

 

Khafayah

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Thank you!

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