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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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My relationships with my children has completely broken down

Customer Question

My relationships with my children has completely broken down even though I have made efforts to 'mend'.
They are slandering my name to everyone they meet, this is mostly my daughter although I do have proof, I dont want to involce others or they dont want to get involved.
I am afraid of my children as my daughter is inciting my son who has already threatened me and who is psychologically unstable. (drugs + alcohol). My daughter is also alcoholic.

I want to know if I can 'divorce' them or do something to get them off my back. They are bullying, jeering, gloating with any contact so I have now made up my mind not only to have no contact but to 'disown' them.
Is there something I can do to establish this in law?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 2 years ago.

intrapsyc.com :

Just wanted to say that what you describe here is overwhelming for most people. No form of abuse should be tolerated, even less threats from a people with psychological problems plus addictions. You are totally right, you need to get extra support here, legal support and also to report to the police the harassment and abuse happening here. If things have escalated this much and for that long, It seems obvious to me that they would not improve but get worse, even more considering what you have already tried without any positive impact.

intrapsyc.com :

A key word here is “boundaries”. You need to set and keep them on a consistent basis in order to protect yourself from further abuse, and again, you would need to file a report to the police and request them to initiate a request if necessary for a judge to issue a restraining order so they would not be allowed to harass nor abuse you any longer without facing the fair consequences of their acts.


On the other hand you would need to get legal support through an attorney or a legal aid society to work on how the legal system could protect you better from it and what to do to regarding your decision do “disown” them.


It is an overwhelming situation, but when people, including our very adult children are just unwilling to even respect us, we need to continue to take good care of ourselves and protect from further abuse.


I support you.


 


 

Customer:

What I really feel now is that I dont want them to have any claim against me or my estate should anything happen to me

Customer:

Therefore I wondered whether there is some process whereby I can legally 'disown' them.

Customer:

As I am a pensioner I cannot afford to engage solicitors. I dont think legal aid is available for this. Am I correct in this assumption?

Customer:

False accusations were made to the DHSS (I am on pension credit), these were investigated by them and I was naturally cleared and they did tell me that further malicious accusations coming from this source would not be pursued in the future. They did suggest I go to the police over the threats of violence, I do have reference to this via email but I strongly suspect that the witness involved will refuse to give evidence.

Customer:

I have written them out of my Will but my concern is that they should not have the ability to make a legal challenge to this after my death.

Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 2 years ago.
Hi, Thank you for contacting Just Answer. My name is Ja`Ree and I am a mental health counselor. I agree with the other two experts as to your needing police protection and legal protection. I am not sure if this is something legal aid would be willing to handle for you, however, I would give them a try. I would also like for you to call your local Adult Protective Services and tell them what is going on with your children. They will get involved and help you get the help you need. They are just like Children Services except they are for older adults. You can call your local Department of Jobs and Family or Department of Human Services for the number. Please call them and make a report, they are there for you. Please follow through with the call because no one should have to go through what you are going through. Please let me know if I can assist you further in this. If this answer has helped you then please press the Accept button at the bottom of the page so that I can be paid by Just Answer. Also, please fill out the feedback form so that I can know how to better serve our customers. Again, thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
This information is a bit more useful as I wasn't aware of these services for adults.
I did however, require some legal advice although you have been helpful.
as I stated in my last answer I needed to know whether there is a legal way of 'divorcing'
or disowning them so that they cannot make claims against my estate or challenge to my Will. Then I can safely leave something to my grandchildren.
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 2 years ago.
That is an answer that only an attorney can answer for you. I am sure if you call Legal Aid they will answer that question for you. Also, Adult Protective Services can assist you in finding out that answer, they can help you find all the answers you need and the protection with no charge to you for their help. Please call and make an appointment with them. They will often come to your house to meet with you. Please make the call and take care of yourself. If this answer has helped you then please press the Accept button at the bottom of the page so that I can be paid by Just Answer. Also, please fill out the feedback form so that I can know how to better serve our customers. Again, thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 2 years ago.
If this answer has helped you then please press the Accept button at the bottom of the page so that I can be paid by Just Answer. Also, please fill out the feedback form so that I can know how to better serve our customers. Again, thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am sorry you were not able to answer my original question.
I was under the impression that I would be asking the question from a lawyer or someone who knows the laws of this this country.
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 2 years ago.
Hello

Just wanted to say that I am sorry i could not rep[ply your request before. JustAnswer website has been presenting different technical issues not allowing me even to access my account nd see people's requests.

I hope you to get the legal support you need.

The best for you,

Rafael Morales Toia.

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MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach