How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask JaRee1993 Your Own Question

JaRee1993
JaRee1993, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience:  Licensed to do family counseling including parenting skills
11914957
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
JaRee1993 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Back in January of this year I took my4 yr old son to the cemetary

Customer Question

Back in January of this year I took my4 yr old son to the cemetary to place flowers at my niece's grave. I didn't say where we were going but when we got there he began to ask questions. I kept it as brief and simple as possible when I answered him. He asked why people put flowers there and I said they do it becuase they miss the person. The next time I took him to preschool he was in a panic. He didn't want me to leave and each time he cried hysterically from the second he woke up asking to stay home and saying "promise you will come back" "promise you will always take care of me." The teacher says that he spends the entire time at school asking if I will come back. This has been going on for 4 weeks.After 3 weeks he had made himself so sick he became consitpated and we went to the Dr. Fixed that but now he spends the time at school asking to constantly go to the bathroom, asking if I will make it back, and he refuses to participate, play or even eat his snack. His stomach is sick when he is not with me and the teacher says he becomes even more nervous and anxious duriing story time which is at the end of school. I asked him why is this and he said he worries about me driving to get him. It's not just school. I left him in the car with my husband and his brother for 5 min while I went into the store and when I came out he was hysterial saying "I thought something happen to you!" He has done this a couple other times if I run into places without him. He also has developed an almost obsession with making sure that everyone that leaves he kissses and says good-bye I love you up until the second they close the door. He doesn't have the separation anxiety from them like with me but he does want to be sure he says good-bye and hugs and kisses them. I understand this is normal but at this age he understands the finality of death and that it means not coming back. I need to figure out how to assure him I'm coming back without lieing to him saying I will never die. Is there any books? All I can find is talking to kids about death but I don't need that I need to know how to help him understand I am not going to die if I leave his sight.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 2 years ago.

JaRee1993 :

Hi, thank you for contacting Just Answer. My name is Ja`Ree and I am a mental health counselor. Can you tell me if he is having nightmares?


 


 


 

Customer:

After we went to the cemetary, that night he got sick and had to miss two days of school, I took him back to school finally and the teacher called me to come get him he said he was still sick. That night he started having night terrors (he had them when he was younger and got over them) he had what seemed to be the same nightmare for a week straight. He jumped up saying I need you I need you and was trying to get away. If anyone but myself held or talked to him he became even more hysterical. Every night for a week this went on. The separation anxiety increased after that as well.

JaRee1993 :

I am looking for a book that might help, however, it sounds to me as though you may need to find him a child counselor who can actually assist him with working through these fears. It is so sad to watch a little one struggle with such feelings and sometimes it takes a professional who has the skills and training to be able to help them through it. Would you maybe consider taking him to talk with someone?

Customer:

yes I would because he is not wanting to interact with his friends at school and he is making himself sick physically over this. His fear is that if I am out of his sight I will be in an accident and will die. He even begins to worry more when he knows school is almost out because he knows I will be driving to get him and he worries. He use to rush us out the door to school because he loved it so much now he hides so he doesn't have to go.

JaRee1993 :

I will be right back with you I am still looking for some books. I also want to recommend that you talk with your family doctor about a referral for a good child psychologist or counselor, You can also call your local mental health board and ask for a recommendation. Please explain that you need to get him in to see someone as soon as possible. Fear is a horrible feeling especially for a small child. Hang on for just a minute please while I see what books I can recommend.

Customer:

Ok great thank you. I have a call into his Dr. just waiting to hear back.

JaRee1993 :

I am told that The Berenstain have excelent books to help children with many issues including fear. They have one book called Berenstain Bears / Fear. I have not read the books but my sister who is a first and second grade teacher recommends them completely. You can find the series on Amazon.com. I hope this information assists you with getting him the help he needs and assists you and your husband with being able to help him begin to not fear your dying so much. It may take some work and time for you to be able to reassure him. It sounds as though the trip to the cementary may have caused PTSD to set in for him, however, with the right help you will be able to help him work through this. Can I assist you any further with this issue?

Customer:

Thank you I will look into those books right now! I appreciate your time and I will follow up with his Dr. Thank you again.

JaRee1993, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience: Licensed to do family counseling including parenting skills
JaRee1993 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered