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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 3205
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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my 8 year old son has trouble getting to sleep at night, it

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my 8 year old son has trouble getting to sleep at night, it doesnt matter what time i put him to bed, he takes approx 1 - 1.5 hrs to get to sleep and complains he is scared about not going to sleep and being tired for school the next day. he now has started sobbing and shaking complaining of headaches, tummy ache etc. he has had the same routine since a baby, still has a story and a cuddle, no changes in family life. Help i am at my wits end as it has become so stressful
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
It is not uncommon for kids around this age to develop some fears and they always seem to come out during bed time and night time. I am glad you have had the same routine since he was a baby. He sounds like he needs a lot of reassurance now and i am sure you are giving it to him.
I am not sure of what your nighttime routine is so I will make my suggestions and if you are already doing them we can go from there.
Let's go back to basics.
A warm and cozy bath
getting him cozy in his pajamas
bringing him into his room and you being with him for a bit and while he is lying down in his bed read him a story or two.
Tuck him in and kiss him and let him know he is safe and you are right down the hall.
Maybe find a baby monitor that you can speak into so when you hear him get scared you can talk into it with a warm and reassuring tone to let him know all is ok.
Set up a reward system for him sating in his bed and each day give him a small that and when he achieves a few in a row a larger treat whatever he likes to do with you.
Let me know your thoughts.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi

Thanks for your reply. I currently do do the same routine as you have suggested. I will get back out the reward chart and try that but i think it has now become psychological for him. Was thinking of getting him some councelling through school ?

Toying with the idea of letting him have dvd in bed to get him through as it might take his mind off it. I know this should not be done and i have never done it but am currently aqt my wits end /

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
I think counseling would be good to see where things are for him and to see what else can be suggested to help calm his fears at night.
The DVD is a personal choice for you and as you know that can create other issues for you. I truly understand how you are at your wits end.
Let's start with the counseling and the reward chart and see how it goes.
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