I'm sorry that your not feeling well and that you've had a horrible, ugly day.
It sounds like you are using good parenting strategies: - clear rules, reward charts, and so forth.
Maybe it's time for some new parenting "tricks".
The very best book on parenting that I recommend is:
Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Kline and Jim Fay. It has a very straightforward approach to parenting and is easy to follow. And..best of all...it works!!!
You can go to their website, buy on-line, or get from your local bookstore.
The book - and their methods - are a lifesaver. Please check out their website for additional ideas and materials.
Kids know how to push our buttons - and sometimes it's more than frustrating. I'm sorry today is so miserable.
Please check out their website and I know you will feel better knowing that there are solid answers out there for you.
You asked about tips on keeping your anger in check on days when your son's behavior is especially challenging to you. The first step in changing your approach is to realize what emotions you are experiencing. When that emotion is anger, then it would be helpful for you to take a few moments to relax and work to calm yourself. Deep breathing or a relaxation technique can help in this regard. Once you have yourself calmed, you will be better able to deal with your son's behavior.
Sometimes, it is helpful to be direct with the child by saying, "Mommy needs to calm down. Would you help by taking some deep breathes with me?"
I want to repeat what I wrote in my earlier post. A terrific book on parenting that will help you immensely is "Parenting with Love and Logic". This book helps you see that consequences can become the teacher rather than a frustrated mom.The book also stresses that parents' job isn't to prevent kids from making mistakes, but rather to help children learn from their mistakes. I urge you to get this book. It's a real life saver!
I'm just checking in to see if you saw my post!
I hope today is a good day!