Thank you for your advice, which I think is pretty spot-on and made me realise that I don't really regard my son as almost an adult and need to treat him as so. He did really well in last year's exams and, in the end, was pleased that I had helped him. My original plan was to carry on to A-level, but perhaps he needs to learn these lessons now. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the English system but having A levels definitely gives more choices. If I tell him what I expect (that he does hw and revises each evening for 2 hours - from Mon to Thurs, and also on Sunday) that he gets a pocket money allowance - otherwise he gets no allowance and has to try to find a part-time job, do you think that is reasonable for a 17 year old. Your adviced about just telling him once also resonates. Also, do you think it's reasonable to limit computer game time, as that is wht he prefers to do. I'm tempted to take the game away - but then am treating him like a child again? Also, I'm interested to know what you would do in the same circumstances.
Thank you for that. I have one final question - When I suggest that he can't go out, his response is, 'Try and stop me'. Do you have any successful strategies to deal with that one? Otherwise, all advice received so far is good and I will act on it.