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Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.
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My son is 11 and has been accused of stealing money from a

Customer Question

My son is 11 and has been accused of stealing money from a friend. He swears he did not take it. In a nutshell he says he hates his life and wants to end it. I need some advice please as the story is quite complex.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Thank you for joining me. Please forgive any typos as I get very immersed in my work with you and my brain may go faster than my fingers.

CoachJenK :

Whenever a child talks about ending his life it is a major cause of concern and one that needs to be responded to immediately. I would make an appointment for him as quickly as possible to see a therapist. Once in therapy the "stealing" can be processed but right now the crucial thing is the talk of suicide.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
My son is 11 and has been accused of stealing money from a friend. He swears he did not take it. In a nutshell he says he hates his life and wants to end it.I went to my friend's house with him on the monday. In the eve when my son was alone for a couple of hours he said he heard a cat crying in bush outside and thinking it was ours he looked and so something shining, It was £45. I thought it was strange. Anyway he told his friends about it at school the next day. On the wed morning my friend called me 7.30 am her son was histerical, money was missing from his piggy bank. She mention the 45 quid I had told her about. Then she called back and said £60 was missing (She knew he had an extra £15). I said I was taking this very seriously I was asking Tyger but he swore he found the money where he found it. Moreover I knew that even if he had taken the money he already had the £15 prior to going anywhere near her house. He said some horrible things about my son and mentioned that although she shoplift from time to time she does it because she enjoyes it, that she does not involve her kids and that she would never steal from friends out of loyalty. I said if I found out he had taken it II would drag him to hers to apologise and give it back. She just wanted my son to admit he had taken it and that then he could keep it. Ps: I did offer to give the money at first to end the matter but my son's dad said you can't because it would be admission of guilt and if he is innocent he would be stigmatised by it and left open to all sorts of accusations... A few friends/colleagues said it could be drug money (one of my neighbour deals and we've had the police round his before); that deals are sometime made by leaving cash in bushes or under trees. I mentioned it to Tyger and said I might have to call the police and that they would want to interview him and keep the cash as evidence. He is quite fearful of authority but he did not flinch and said he would tell the police where in the bush he had found it etc. It has been a week now and he has stuck to his story. The next eve after the accusation was made my friend found me in the playground, put her arm around me and said sorry for what she had said. She had not slept and read online about the trauma caused to children wrongly accused. She aplogised to my kid. The weird thing is that our last chat was late on the wed night when she said all the horrible stuff. And by the thursday morning her son when to my son and apologised for doubting him??? Now I forgot to mention that her son has a history of lying and bringing other people in his lies. I thought this was all so weird but I was too exhausted to ask why the sudden apology. Now I did not hear anymore of this until I picked up Tyger tonight when he said the boy said to him that he trusted Tyger did not take the money but that he wanted him to come to his house where his dad would interview Tyger ! Tyger said to me I hate my life and I want to end it. I don't know what to do. PLease advice
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
All of that is a very difficult situation. I am glad you have supported your Son through this and I am wondering if has expressed feelings like this before about wanting to end it or just after this incident? Either way it needs to be taken seriously and I am recommending that you bring him to a counselor so that these issues can be addressed.
I am less concerned about this other boy and what nonsense he has pulled, my concern is for your son to get through this and whatever else he may be dealing with.

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Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K.
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Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Coach Mom of Twins.