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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question

Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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need help to decide if i should let my grandson mother back

Resolved Question:

need help to decide if i should let my grandson mother back into his life after 12 years
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 4 years ago.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about this. If you think that the only reason that the mother is interested in him being in his life now that he is collecting money and she has not been for 12 years of his life I would say a STRONG NO!!!!!!!! Unless there is something I am not aware of it seems to me that all this person is interested in is the money.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Hi

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

What happened when he was 18 months old that the child was in your custody and not hers?

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Has she never seen him since he was 18 months old?

Customer:

he was given to me before he was a year old because we could not find his mother and the father was in jail / the state system gave him to me and since then she has had 4 more children and has 2 step children as well

Customer:

at 18 month i got legal gaurdianship so i could get medical attention for him and put him in school

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Oh, no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would absolutely, NOT give him back to his mother.

Customer:

no she has not claimed she didn't know where we were and had no means to do so

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

What do you mean she has not claimed?

Customer:

that is good to here but the ssi will not let him draw ssi without her signing off on it and now she is holding that over my head to see him

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Where did she go --- what do you mean you couldn't find his mother --- do you mean that she abandoned him before one year old?

Customer:

she has not seen him and she claims that the reason she didn't see him was that she didn't know where we were

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Since the child has been in your custody since 18 months old aren't there any legal documents that he is in your custody?

Customer:

yes his father had him my son

Customer:

yes

Customer:

but the ssi people will not except them

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I think you need to go to the children's services department of your state and bring this problem before them. They will be able to document that the mother has not been in this child's life.

Customer:

i talked to her on the net last night and the only thing she would do is complain about not having him live with her

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Then bring it to the children's services and discuss it with them because ONLY they will be able to defend you in this situation.

Customer:

and all she would say towards his care is that now her and her new husband could take care of his needs as if i had not done that for the last 12 years

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

You will not get anywhere without bringing it back to the agency that gave you legal custody. Only they can help you with this.

Customer:

can u tell that this is a strange potion that i am in and she want me to let her talk to him today on the phone before she does anything to help him out my grandson has the iq of a 1 st grader and he is 13

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

No one who cannot prove that you have legal custody can do anything.

Customer:

that was in the state of ms.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I would not --- absolutely not let her talk to him on the phone. GO TO CHILDREN'S SERVICES and ask for their psychological help,as well.

Customer:

i have legal graudenship of him which was granted to me on 1 /2 / 2000

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

So get the State Department to confirm that for you and then present it to the SSI.

Customer:

i feel so much better that u have agreed we me total

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Are you kidding --- unquestionably do I agree with you!!!!!!!!

Customer:

thank you may god bless your life

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

You, too --- bless you for what you've done for this child.


 

Customer:

i wish u could see him he is the most loving child i have and i have 5 children of my own 2 step daughters 17 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I'll pause here and see if there is anything else you would like to add. Please click on ACCEPT. You can ask more questions even after you have clicked on ACCEPT. Bonuses are always welcome. If you need to ask more questions just put DR. Shirley Schaye and I will be the one to respond.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

WOW!!!!!

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

You are wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Customer:

thanks so are you

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I wish you well!!! I'll be thinking of you!!!!!!!!

Dr. Shirley Schaye and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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