Hi. Thank you for joining me. Please forgive any typos as I get very immersed in my work with you and my brain may go faster than my fingers.
How old is she now?
Is she also wetting the bed when she is staying at your ex-husbands home?
She will be 4 in March
And I don't know he doesn't mention it
But I know she sleeps in pull ups at his house
she wasn't needing to for a long time and now she pees everynight
It does sound to me as if she is having a reaction to something maybe his getting married is bringing up some fears and anxieties around loss
How can I help her and stop the wetting of the bed
Are you open to bringing her to a therpaist specializing in children where she can talk or play and express her feelings?
Well I took her to one and he said he behavior looked normal
She might not even be aware of the anxieties but with the right questions from a professional and the supportive atmosphere she might be able to express herself.
It is possible that kids do take a step back, but she is also being confused by pull ups at his house and underwear at yours. She doesnt know while she is sleeping which one she is in
Should I just put her in pull ups?
I believe a sit down with your ex needs to take place so that you are all on the same page. It could just be a simple matter of confusion for her.
how long has she been doing ok in underwear at night before this started? and how long has the wetting been happening?
Are you still with me?
I can't sit down with my ex his new wife wont let me
But maybe I can express it in an email
It started about 3 months ago
ok well how do you two communicate about your daughter? Only though email?
We sometimes talk or text or email.
Mostly we don't. I am in charge of everything and he just plays with her every other weekend
he doesn't pay child support or anything
I am struck that you share a child and he will not set a boundary with the new wife to be that talks are crucial between tow parents
Ok i am seeing the full picture. Then how would you like to proceed? Pull ups or no pull ups?
I guess thats what I am asking
should I continue to try and wake her 3 or 4 times a night? or just stick to pull ups and see if she grows out of it
I understand your question and I am sorry to punt it back to you but you know your child well and know whether she will do better to go with pull ups for a while or not.
Sometimes kids do backtrack but I can really see how the confusion for her is not helping so it has to be consistent one way or the other in both homes.
I am still here wanting to help you.