How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask proexpert37 Your Own Question

proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
49595756
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
proexpert37 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Out of Control 17 year old

Customer Question

I have a seventeen year old daughter who is totally out of control. She will not help around the house or take her school work seriously at all. She is verbally abusive to me and my husband. Additonally she is treats her brother who is 15 and her other sister who is 13 like crap. Over the Christmas hour there was a major fight because she wanted to spend Christmas with her boyfriend and his family. I did not want to let her go but my husband said just let her go so that maybe we could have a nice Christmas with our other 2 children. The reason I did not want to do that is that both sets of Grandparents came for Christmas. However my husband said just let her go so I reluctantly agreed. Both sets of grandparents were ver hurt by this. When I tried to tell my daughter how sad they were she said she did not give a sh---. Now she want to go live with her boyfriend who is 18. I don't want to let her but my husband says he cant take this anymore and to just let her go He says if I don't agree to this is going to leave me. The thing is I have not work in over 20 years and really do not have skills to get a job. Do I just let her go or do I stick to my guns and keep up with the discipline or just let her go. I wanted to add she does not refer to us and mom and dad she refers to us as bitch and bastered. Please tell me want to do I am totally lost. As a final note my other two children say they want her gone. My huband says if she does improve or leave he will be moving out on February 1
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter. How long has she acted this way? How long has she been with her boyfriend? Thanks!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

This has been going since the age of 15.This was before the boyfriend I just would like to ask you if I should go along with my husband or should I just sign the permission to marry like my husband wants to and let her go. My husband has just informed me if I don't do this he will walk out because he can't take anymore and sue for custody of the two children. What would you suggest.

 

My daughter and I just had another fight and she called me an f----bitch and a whore. She just called her two siblings a----holes and my husband and f---prick. After that my husband opened the front door and said please get out just get out. I don't think doing that with a 17 year old is the best. My husband says she needs to experience life with out our help and maybe that will snap her into reality. Please give me some guidance .

 

I have not worked in 20 years and if he leaves I don't know what we will do

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Follow up she has been with the boyfriend for 9 months. Just want more thing when my husband said please get out just get out her response was with f----pleasure and she filpped the bird at us

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
When will your daughter turn 18? Do you rely on your husband to financially support the family?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Do you jointly own your house? Do relatives near close by?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She will be 18 in 8 months and yes he is my only means of support. I have also had medical problems and he just told me again if I don't support him and sign the papers to let her get married he will get a lawyer and sue for custody of the two children. He says he does not care what she does anymore. He said the only thing he is going to demand from her is she give the car back that is in our name that we paid for and not let her take any of her bedroom furniture that we paid for. She is with this guy right now and my husband says if she wants to spend the night at this guys house he is not fighting it. He says I have 24 hours to make my decision. He says letting her out on her own will snap her into reality. He also says if and it does not work out for her once she leaves if she wants to come back he is going to demand the following: He is demanding a formal apology from infront of the entire family (that includes extented family), She has to go to anger management, She will have to pay room and board and go to anger management. My mother and stepdad just advised me to let her go. I am so afraid what will hapen to her if we do that. My mom said I need to remember I have two other children that need to be taken into consideration
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I am so depressed right now and so sad I just want this to work out. I just called her on her cell and begged her to come home and she said f----off and go to hell. When that my husband said to me you can't get blood out of a stone

 

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Just my mom and stepdad but thier apartment is too small for us. They lived on a fixed income. My best friend sho is like a sister to me really does not have room at her place. I have a heart condition and really can't take care of myself. I have no real job expierience and going to school myself. My husband keeps saying to me that letting her do this will snap her into reality. I am afraid by the time that happens it will be too late
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
My 15 year old son is angry with me right now because I am reluctant to let her go. He has been crying saying he can't stand living with her anymore and want me to let her go.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am so sorry to keep bothering I am desperate and torn
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
If deposited more money if could could give me some more answers that woudl be great
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
I do feel your pain. She is your daughter and you will worry about her no matter what she is doing. Your husband has desired to show your daughter what is known as tough love. Your daughter is causing too much emotional distress in the house for everyone. It is straining your marriage. You need your husband. Your family needs to stay intact with the other children. Your daughter has no respect for anyone. Let her leave. She will see the harsh realities of the real world. The good part is that she has rules made by your husband already set in place that she must follow if she decides to return. You need peace in your household. Do not let your daughter destroy your marriage. If your daughter does leave, please seek professional family counseling. You cannot continue to live like this. Save your marriage. Allow your other children to live without fear. Have the faith that this stage will pass. Things happen for a reason. It may be hard to understand now, but take it one day at a time. Your daughter will not change now. You cannot force her. She will only change on her own accord. Give her space. Time heals all wounds.

Please take care of yourself.
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

That is what I am going to do it is sad but hopefully she will be okay and grow up. I am going to tell her if she does pack and leave these are the ultimatums. I hope it works ot fo her. We are going into counseling.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
You deserve all the happiness and peace in the world, Mom!!!!!!!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I forgot to thank you and my son Damian says thank you also
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Request me anytime!

:)

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HE/heidi1107/2012-2-18_15325_Heidi.64x64.jpg Heidi LPC's Avatar

    Heidi LPC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    Licensed Professional Counselor
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions