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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My partner is European and Im English. we have a very different

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My partner is European and Im English. we have a very different approach to parenting which is causing a lot of friction between us and my children. I have a son of 14 who has now chose to live with his dad, a daughter of 11 from a previous relationship, and a 3 year old with my present partner. The problem is that my patner wishes my 11 year old to do what is asked. She does tend to live in her little world so we have to ask her several times before its done . This frustrates my partner to the extent that he loses controll and shouts at her calling her retarded. I find this so hurtful and have asked him to leave the disapline to me but he cant help himself. He calls me demented and retarded and says that im useless in being a parent. Help im stuck in the middle have had so many conversations and arguements over this even to the extent of asking him to go. he wont leave because of our little girl.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago. long has this behavior been occurring from hubby?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hi he's been a lot worse since the little one arrived. It has affected her behaviour towards my eldest girl. She will shout at her almost copying her father to. That starts a screaming match and then my partner will start and blame my 11 year old.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Have any of you received counseling?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
No we haven't yet although I think it may be helpful especially for my daughter. I'm not sure if my partner would attend because in his eyes he 's not doing anything wrong. But I think he is a bully not violently but just with his words. I love him but resent him if that makes sense. I understand that he is trying to prepare my children for adulthood by having strict rules e.g cleaning their rooms, no Tele or pc on two nights & days in the week. Washing dishes, cleaning shoes. Making them just play in their rooms. In bed by 8 pm . Well my eldest has just recently moved to his dads for peace I really don't want to loose my daughter to.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
I will respond within the hour as I must step out of the office for a bit.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
If you want to save you marriage and help your daughter live amicably with your husband, individual counseling may help both you. It seems doubtful that your husband would attend family therapy sessions. Therefore, you and your daughter need professional assistance from a psychologist or counselor to receive coping strategies in how to accept the ways of your husband. That is probably the best route to take now. Your husband seems a bit emotionally abusive and you just cannot keep living in fear. Please seek help as soon as you can.
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