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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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how to work out a marriage relationship having 3 kids with

Resolved Question:

how to work out a marriage relationship having 3 kids with different ages (2 months, 2 years and 11 years old)?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. What specific problems are you experiencing? Is it more parenting your children, the relationship with your husband, or both?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
We have both problems. We are having issues with our 11 year old boy at school. He is dropping his grades since we had our two latest babies. Our 2 years old requires attention too since he was born with a problem with his left arm and requires therapies almost every day. Our 2 month old baby girl also requires attention because she is a newborn. I think my wife is overwhelming with this situation and how to manage our home. Our relationship is not doing good since we have no time for us. I think the problem is that we miscalculate the number of kids we can afford to grow. I work full time and my time is limited after work and during weekends. Sometime I have to work overtime and that makes things difficult. My wife is not working because we agree she could take care of the home and kids.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for responding. I am glad that you are honest to realize that there are breakdowns in your family . Admitting the problems is the first step. I applaud your wife because of her stay at home responsibilities. The younger two children do need a great deal of her attention. However, your 11year old is probably feeling very much neglected. As his dad, you must spend as much quality time as you can. For now even it is not that much time daily, it will be better than nothing. If he continues to have trouble in school, keep in contact with his teachers. They can provide extra help or enlist the assistance of outside tutors. Additionally, you may want to contact the school psychologist who can just talk to your son about any of his frustrations. Also, you and your wife must have date nights. Since you probably cannot go out much, have a date night in the home. Have a date night once a week or every other week. Bring her flowers, provide take out food from her favorite restaurant, and watch a movie together without the kids. You need to reconnect and stay connected otherwise your marriage will slowly fall apart. Also, be a good listener to your wife. She needs you to be your sounding board because she has no one else to turn to. Marriage counseling may also be another viable alternative. You are not in this alone. Many parents are stressed while working and taking care of children. Hang in there my friend. This will one day pass.

Have a great day.
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