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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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My 7 year old daughter "(who still believes in Santa)" came

Customer Question

My 7 year old daughter "(who still believes in Santa)" came across disturbing pornographic images whilst on the laptop last night. She's totally freaked out by what she saw but cant bring herself to talk to me about how she's feeling.. spent most of the night back and forth to her room as she was having night terrors.
What can I do/say? I don't want this to have any negative impact on her!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

Hi,

 

It may be helpful to explain to her that the people she had seen were not hurting each other and that adults can chose to engage in sort of a play (just like when you've spoken to her about how women get pregnant) You may let her know that these individuals are actors/models if it was a picture she saw and that they get paid to take their clothes off with other people. When you present this to her, ensure that she understands that adults can do things like that because they see it as fun and that they had used their free will to do so.

 

You would see how she reacts as her initial anxiety may have been triggered due to not knowing what exactly she was seeing. She may have gotten scared thinking that people were hurt as well as embarrassed or fearful that you'd reprimand her for having seen this on the computer. Your reaction would play a large role in how she interprets the event. She may not get scarred as you continue to reassure her that you're aware that adults do things that children do not, and that you're sorry that she had stumbled onto the computer.

At the same time, you let her know that since she's observed this, you're explaining to her what it was and you'd answer questions if she has any. Then, you may ask her to tell you what she thinks she was seeing. If she feels uncomfortable, you can let her know that she can draw it for you and talk about it later. Point out to her that nudity is not something that people should be ashamed about and that adults do such things in their private homes.

 

Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
Dr. Rossi and 3 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 2 years ago.

The list below are some books that may help you talk with your child about what she saw. I would only go into as much detail as you think she needs. I would also suggest letting her as question and answering them as honestly as possible. As time goes by all 3 of the books would be helpful. I would also let her take the lead. I would wait and see what she wants to know if anything. You would be surprised at how sometimes leaving things alone is the best idea. If she wants to know more she can take the lead. As far as the computer itself I would invest in a parental internet safety program. There are many out there to choose from but most work in a similar manner. Once you install the program be sure to update often.

 

I hope this has helped.

 

Kate B

 

My goal is to assist you so that you get the most informative reply.
Please do get back if you need any clarification.
A positive feedback & a bonus is greatly appreciated & will encourage me.

 

  1. IT'S NOT THE STORK! A BOOK ABOUT GIRLS, BOYS, BABIES, BODIES, FAMILIES, AND FRIENDS for children age 4 and up; 64 pages, 10 1/4" x 11 7/16"
  2. IT'S SO AMAZING! A BOOK ABOUT EGGS, SPERM, BIRTH, BABIES, AND FAMILIES for children age 7 and up; 80 pages, 9 3/4" x 11 7/8"
  3. IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL: CHANGING BODIES, GROWING UP, SEX, AND SEXUAL HEALTH for children age 10 and up; 96 pages, 8 7/16" x 10 1/4"
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your reply.. I was totally besides myself with worry, as this is not the sort of thing that is easily accessible in our home. All our computers have parental lock down. My partner overlooked the laptop being fairly new. She had been searching a movie trailer on google and I guess this is something that came up. I did call a parent helpline because I felt I couldn't wait and I needed help/advise then and there. They were very good and had a major calming effect. Some of the things you have said are similar.
Many thanks,

Natasha
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for the kind words! As a parent myself I know how difficult it can be making decisions about different things. Hang in there and please feel free to send me any questions you may have.

With thanks,
Kate
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 2 years ago.
I just wanted to follow up with you and see if I was of any assistance to you or if you needed any additional information. Please feel free to ask if anything seems unclear to you. Thanks, Kate

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