How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KaterB1270 Your Own Question

KaterB1270
KaterB1270, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 142
Experience:  BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
63942956
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
KaterB1270 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My son is 18 and drives. He was out last night till late, and

Customer Question

My son is 18 and drives. He was out last night till late, and we woke up this morning to find a couple of eggs thrown all over our front door. This is not the first time, and he won't tell us who is responsible. I am pretty sure I know - an old girlfriend who is still hassling him after a break-up 2 years ago with a few personality issues, (ethnic, mother is single, father a convicted criminal, massively insecure, could possibly have medical mental circumstances) My son is not wayward by any means, pretty good actually, holds down a job, looks people in the eye etc. He is probably just a bit too sociable, is adventurous and likes to be out and about but can wind up interacting with other young people of varied backgrounds, parentage and potential for the future. The ex-girlfriend is a case in point. My wife insists that I do something, as opposed to just let my son handle and it and let it blow over. When it happened it was the middle of the night, my wife and female daughter heard it and were quite frightened. Fact is I can see her point - it may not have been the ex-girlfriend, but a couple of low life with some sort of beef with my son, and one side of me would like to get my hands on whoever it was and give them a message. However, once a male child reaches a certain age, a parent needs to be careful how they deal with threatening or problematic behaviour in his associations. In similar instances I have been torn between intervening and imposing my will on a negative situation, and allowing my son to resolve things in his own way. However, this is our front door, and my wife and daughter were genuinely concerned with the noises in the middle of the night. It seems unfair to punish my son as it isn't technically his fault. However I could use punishment to make him tell me who it was. This will inevitably mean his standing in his social group will suffer, and there may be other adverse consequences for him that I can't predict or control. As far as my suspicions are concerned, I am obviously reluctant to communicate directly with the girl's mother, as we have no relationship whatsoever, and my experience in the past is that this kind of engagement just reflects badly on your own child in their social group, and can often make it worse. Not to mention if I am wrong and it isn't her daughter that is responsible you can imagine how that will be received. Should I make my son tell me who did it, and if he does, should I turn up on their door step and suggest they might think twice before doing it again? Regards xxxxx
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. Since you are not completely certain who is throwing the eggs, do not accuse anybody yet. To put a little fear in your son, tell him that you feel it is necessary to take him down the local police department to provide any information that he knows. He may actually fess up before you need to take him there to file a report. If you can afford it, maybe install a security camera that records. Some actions need to be taken to protect the emotional security of your wife and daughter and your sanity.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
So once he tells me who is responsible what then?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
You can file a report with the police. It would not be a wise idea for you to confront the offenders because people can become so unpredictable these days. You need to try to keep your distance from then offenders.
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 2 years ago.

I would once again ask your son who had thrown the eggs. If he said he didn't know again I would continue to ask if he is just protecting someone that he either cares about or worries will retaliate. I think if you do confront someone (whomever it may be) it may backfire in more ways than one. I think if you confront the ex-girlfriend by your description she will continue to cause more problems. If it is a friend/acquaintance of your sons he may suffer socially. I would probably hold tight for now and see if anything else takes place. I think your wife and daughter will come to realize after a while it wasn't a big deal and as unfortunate as it may be teens will be teens and pranks and practical jokes are all part of the game.

 

Kate

 

My goal is to assist you so that you get the most informative reply.
Please do get back if you need any clarification.
A positive feedback & a bonus is greatly appreciated & will encourage me.

Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 2 years ago.
I just wanted to follow up with you and see if I was of any assistance to you or if you needed any additional information. Please feel free to ask if anything seems unclear to you. Thanks, Kate

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    19
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
KaterB1270
KaterB1270
18 Satisfied Customers
BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching