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KaterB1270
KaterB1270, Teacher
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
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Our 20 month old daughter constantly wants to be picked up

Customer Question

Our 20 month old daughter constantly wants to be picked up and held by either my wife or I. Is this normal, should we break her out of this habit, if so how?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. Children woud love to be held all of the time if parents gave into their demands. It is normal for them to feel this way. Although this may be difficult to do, just stop picking your daughter up. She enjoys the closeness and physical contact of her parents because it makes her feel safe. But explain to her as best as you can in a way that she can understand that you need your hands for other things and she can use her hands for other things as well. Maybe you can find a comforting blanket or stuffed animal that can replace some of the holding time. Of course you can still pick her up but try to limit this action. It starts with you first. Your daughter will slowly but surely get the message.
Expert:  KaterB1270 replied 4 years ago.
Having taught child development and parenting for over 12 years and raising 2 children of my own I know all too well the parent attachment issues that can come up. Children around the age of 18 -20 months old are most comfortable with their parents as this is who they spend the most of the time with. This is totally typical and most children go through a period just as you describe. It can be very frustrating as parents but thankfully it doesn't last forever. My suggestion is to introduce your child to several people for small amounts of time. She/he will become familiar to their sent, sound of their voice, their laugh and so on. In the beginning stay close during these introductions to keep your child feeling safe and content. This should pass by about 24 months old as children start to show signs of independence. I hope this helps and calms your fears. I also suggest allowing your child to explore areas safely around your home which will help create the sense of independence.

Katerb1270
KaterB1270, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 142
Experience: BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
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