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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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My grandaughter 5 years oldistrying to hurt her baby brother

Customer Question

My grandaughter 5 years oldistrying to hurt her baby brother 5 months old. My daughter telling her not to, just makes her cheeky. She says,"but Ilike doing it."
Any sugestions.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,

It is best to get to the root of the behavior. She may resent that brother is taking up so much of Mommy's time or feel displaced by her. The best thing to do is show her how being the big sister is such a privilege....she has a later bedtime, can help Mommy with things, can play games with cannot do these things. Along with this, set up Special Mommy time daily. A 20-30 minute period that's all her's doing a fun thing. This is over and above the routines that are already in place (i.e., bedtime ritual).

If this is not the reason, child play therapy should be sought.
I hope this is helpful....good luck....
Bonnie and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your reply.

My daughter has been doing these things you sugested. However a lot of the promlems are complex.

Evie's Daddy (Rick) has recently been sent to jail for theft from his employer, just before Christmas.

There have been three prison visits which have caused Evie and my daughter (Gina)distress.

These visits have been in the presence of Ricks parents.

The grandparents who live near by want to take control (they pay the rent and provide free child care while my daughter works). I live too far away to give that kind of support.

Another problem is that Ricks parents seem to believe that they are a better class of prison visiter and their son is a better class of prisoner. Their words not mine.

My daughter is having dificulty with the situation she finds herself in.




Expert:  Bonnie replied 4 years ago.
Yes, the additional information is very helpful.

Your granddaughters behavior is more likely to be a reaction to all the stress around her. She is responding with aggression or may be seeking attention from a very stressed mother. Given the entire situation, the child therapy becomes even more important. Maybe increasing the frequency will help. One thing you can do is to offer to have granddaughter stay with you for a week or give her (and mom) a short respite. This time away with you could be more important than the school she would miss....that is, if she wants to.

Good luck.

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