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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hello, My wife and I have one child, she is three and half

Customer Question

Hello,

My wife and I have one child, she is three and half years old. It seems this past couple months her behavior has turned for the worse. She is constantly crying and whining every ten minutes. If she doesn't get her own way or is told to do something it results in an outburst. My wife and I consistently give into the reaction, just so we do not have to deal with the crying. Sometimes we will lose our cool and have raised our voice with our daughter, and that does not work at all. I am assuming her behavior is related to being an only child, she is well spoiled from both grandparents. I think I know the correct way to handle this is to stop giving into the whining and crying. It is becoming quite clear our daughter has picked up on this and uses this attitude to get her own way. I am a little unclear of what things to try to stop letting her have her own way. She never wants to eat, usually has two bites and wants to run away to her toys. On a side note, my wife and I have had some minor marital issues. We have a tendancy to bicker back and forth and the odd time we have yelled at each other, sometimes in front of our daughter. Does our daughters outbursts or attitude have any relation to our fights as a married couple? Please help.. Thank You.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter. Does she attend pre school? Who is he most disciplining parent in the house? Thank you!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

She has attended pre school since September, two times a week for a couple hours. I think the disciplining is about even. I can't really say if anyone is more of a disciplinarian.

 

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Tuesday Greetings. Fighting between you and your wife in front of your daughter will have a negative impact on your daughter. Try to curtail marital discord. If you must argue, do it when your daughter is not around. Also, your daughter may be picking up bad habits at school. There may be a child who whines at pre school just to get his/her way and your daughter is imitating such behavior. Nonetheless when she is whining at home, do not give in to her demands. She is whining just to get attention to express herself. When she whines, get down on your knees to her eye level. Look directly into her eyes and tell her NO and how you expect her to behave. Tell her that when she calms down, you will return to talk to her. Just walk away and leave her crying. There is no need to raise your voice. Times that she is behaving appropriately to request something, really praise her. Make a big deal about her great and awesome behavior. Keep a sticker chart. When she is having a great day, give her a sticker on the chart. After she has accumulated 10 stickers on the chart, treat her to a really special treat or outing. The goal is to pay more attention to positive behavior to eliminate the negative. The key is consistency and persistence. Children often work hard to improve their behavior when a reward is involved.

Try this and see what happens. If you need more assistance, let me know. Happy New Year!

:)
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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