We asked the 4 year old why she changed clothes (she changes clothes alot during any given day). He did not show the video to anyone except her. At that time she told him it was stupid and they deleted it. She is naked in his presence often (we are trying to make her understand that it is not acceptable to run around naked but she does) such as baths or sometime when the wife is getting her into he pjs she will take off running as if it is a game. My wife now blames herself for this because she was not proactive in stopping this kind of thing.
After speaking with the daughter, she has told us that there was no touching or suggestions. She says she was trying to make a funny video and he told her that would be funny.
My wife is devistated. I think it has some to do with abuse in her childhood by a neighbor.
My son has never showed any interest in this kind of thing before. We have an older son who asked a lot of questions about different things but never had any issues with either of them prior to this.