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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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My 9 year old thought it would be funny for his 4 year old

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My 9 year old thought it would be funny for his 4 year old sister to be naked and make a video to show her on the phone. My wife is very distraught over this. He deleted the video and swears he did it because she thought it was funny to run around naked (which despite out objections she does). What should I think about this?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. How did you find out about the video? Did he show the video to his friends? Is the sister naked in the boy's presence taking a bath, getting dressed, etc.? Thanks!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

We asked the 4 year old why she changed clothes (she changes clothes alot during any given day). He did not show the video to anyone except her. At that time she told him it was stupid and they deleted it. She is naked in his presence often (we are trying to make her understand that it is not acceptable to run around naked but she does) such as baths or sometime when the wife is getting her into he pjs she will take off running as if it is a game. My wife now blames herself for this because she was not proactive in stopping this kind of thing.


After speaking with the daughter, she has told us that there was no touching or suggestions. She says she was trying to make a funny video and he told her that would be funny.


My wife is devistated. I think it has some to do with abuse in her childhood by a neighbor.


My son has never showed any interest in this kind of thing before. We have an older son who asked a lot of questions about different things but never had any issues with either of them prior to this.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for responding. It sounds as though the actions of your son were a one time occurrence and child like innocent behavior. Make sure both children involved understand thoroughly that the behavior was not funny and is not acceptable. Also, make sure your daughter understands that she must stop running around naked. Discuss private parts and how they need to stay covered.

Your wife is devastated because she is probably thinking that more things happened like inappropriate touching even though your daughter stated that nothing happened. She is probably also worried that your son may want to take more naked videos or even that another person has influenced your son in a sexual manner. Just let it go. Do not make a big issue about it unless it happens again or your son or daughter starts talking about issues of a sexual nature. Furthermore if the issue continues to bother your wife, she may want to seek professional counseling to seek coping strategies. She may need to put her childhood abuse issues to rest as well.
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