Thank you for your help. I look forward to your thoughts tomorrow.
In answer to your questions:
Her dad is involved with both her and my son. They see him regularly once a week for dinner and once in a while for an overnight on a weekend. I have physical custody, we have joint legal custody. He left our home when my daughter was 3 1/2 and my son was 2 months old, the divorce was final 6 months later, but he has always had a role as their father. He's since remarried and subsequestly divorced. I have not had any relationships.
I am currently an elementary school instructional teaching assistant in my 4th year of teaching in their district, but not at the middle or high school. I am a licensed elementary teacher looking to "move up" from IA to classroom teacher at some point in the future.
To my knowledge, my daughter is not using drugs (outside of prescription), alcohol or tobacco or sexually active. She vehemetly opposes all of the above.
For the past 20 years, I have lived in New England and my parents, sister and brother & families are on the west coast - so we won't be together for the holidays as is usual anyway. The kdis and I try to visit them once a year in the summer.
Again thank you for your input and advice. ~Jules.
Thank you. You brought up a couple of points I hadn't thought of - peer tutors and contacting the school psychologist. I have requested a meeting with the school to revisit the ADD issues.
Thank you again for your reply to my complex situation.