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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My son just came home with the police. I want to move to another

Customer Question

My son just came home with the police. I want to move to another location to get away from his friends.
How can I get him involved(and engaged)enough to leave those friends alone - basically hang with a different crowd?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Hello Dear Client...How old is your son? What was he picked up for? How does he perform academically? Has he always hung around the wrong crowd?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He is 14years old. The police responed to a call because someone saw the boys and thought thet had an AK47 (it was an airsoft) but my son had 4 grams of pot on him and another had a whole once plus an outstanding warrant for his arrest.

He hasn't actually hung around the bad crowd be cause he was always busy with lessoms and things till now but he as always admired them and it has become a problem since junior high school.

He is failing his academics. He skips more than he goes to school although he always says that he wants to do better.

He is not an angry person and usually agrees with the adult but he has no cotrol over his impulses and it doesn't take him 5 minutes to do the oposite of what his said he wanted to do.

He also admitted to me one time that he is afraid of success - which is why her doesn't try harder.

Sharon.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

He is 14, he was picked up because some people saw the boys and what they thought was a AK47 so they phone the police. When the police arrested them Shawn(my so) had 4 grams of dope on him but one of the other boys had a warrant out for his arrest and had an ounce of dope on him.
He has always been enamored with the wrong crowd.
I hope I am giving the feed back in the right place.
Sharon

 



Already Tried:
If this is still about Shawn and you recieved the additional information let me know. Sharon

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding. If you can afford to move away far enough so that your son will find some more respectable people to hang around with, then by all means do so. Try to keep him involved in school sports. If he does not have the appropriate g.p.a. for school sports, then get him involved in intramural sports or activities outside of school. The less free time that he has on his hands, the less time he will be able to associate with the wrong crowd. Also when it comes to his performance at school, enlist the assistance of the school psychologist. She/he can talk to your son on an on going basis and find out what is troubling him and additionally teach him intervention and coping strategies. A third alternative is to seek family counseling so that you all can learn how to deal with the ups and downs of the teen age years appropriately.

Have a great day! Hope that I provided you with some insight!
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Because he identifies with the drug crowd I was thinking of volunteering overseas for about 3years -in a completly different culture. Do you have any experience with that?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
I do not have overseas experience. You might want to ask another question specific to this issue.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
This is about this issue. The reason I want to live in another culture where the "pot smoking" is not so popular, the concerns are completely different while his brain has a chance to mature a little bit. He is so influenced by the people around him so I thought it might change his entire focus.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
A change in culture might do your son some good. He is at the age where peers are of the utmost importance and he will want to become much more involved in the social scenes. If he is surrounded by good people and less of the negative influences, then he will not be tempted nor able to travel down the wrong paths. If moving overseas provides him with the ability to stay more focused, then you should give it a try.

:)
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX it is exactly what I wanted to hear because that was my thinking so I hope you are sincere and not just telling me what I want to hear. In anty case Thank you.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
My answer was very sincere. Remove him from the negativity so that he will stay focused and positive!

Enjoy overseas!

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