How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask proexpert37 Your Own Question

proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
49595756
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
proexpert37 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have an eight year old grand daughter that constantly lies

Customer Question

I have an eight year old grand daughter that constantly lies and steals. First it was small items and mostly food. Today she stole $25 from another child at school and gave it all away to other kids. It has been going on since she was little. My daughter and her husband have tried everything that they and I could think of (I live out of town and see them about four timesa year.) We are at a loss.
First it appeared like she was taking things that she wanted like candy and snacks. So I suggested they let her pick out her own snacks for her lunches so she wouldn't feel deprived. Seemed to work for a little while but then she started taking small items like toys and chapstick from schoolmates and then lie about her friends giving her presents. So her parents forbid her from accepting ANYTHING from anyone without asking permission. But today, she took something that she didn't even keep for herself.
My daughter is at her wits end. She is very angry and embaressed that she had to call the school and parents to tell them what happened. And now she is worried that because other kids (and the school) know about this, that J. will be be labeled and she will never be able to live this down.
This is very heartbreaking. J. can be such a sweet, kind hearted child but she gets so defensive when she lies that she is almost violent. Today when my daughter was confronting her, she started jumping up and down, screaming she wasn't lying when she was clearly caught.
Like I said, we have tried everything we can think of. Reasoning,, talking, grounding, extra chores to pay restituion. My daughter is having a hard time even being around her tonight. She said she doesn't even want to look at her. I fear this is not only damaging their relationship, but damaging my grand daughter. I don't know what else to suggest other than contacting a therapist - which I have grave concerns about on so many levels.
Please help.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. It seems like every avenue at home has been exhausted. Children often steal for attention and the thrill of whether or not they will be caught. Since the events seem to be happening at school, discuss the concern's with the school psychologist if available. If not, then use an outside counselor referred by a pediatrician. Nonetheless, your best bet would be the school psychologist who could talk to your grand daughter often, check in on her often, and create a behavior modification system with the help of the teacher to help change your grand daughter's behavior. You and you daughter have reached the breaking point. Outside professional assistance is needed. A psychologist may even discover some emotional issues that have been masked by the stealing.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING,
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My daughter has made an appointment with both the School counselor and a child therapist. She feels better now that she has actually taken steps and knows she and her husband aren't alone in this anymore.

Thank you so much!!

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
You are so welcome. Take care!

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    19
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
proexpert37
proexpert37
Educator
702 Satisfied Customers
Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor