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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Psychologist; Parent
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my son has been divorced for over six yrs. I have a very good

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my son has been divorced for over six yrs. I have a very good relationship with my x-daughter-in-law because of my grandaughter. My son is now in a relationship with another woman who thinks that I have not resigned to the divorce and is causing a rift with my son.I keep the lines open with all because I live in another state and want to always see my grandaughter and have her visit,she is only 7and I would hate to have my x-daughter-in-law get upset and cause us to not be able to see her. There is alot more to the story. How should I handle the new girlfriend?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.
Hello. By "keeping the lines open" as you said, you are already on the right track. Some of this responsibility needs to be shared with your son as well. You did not say how long he has been with this new girlfriend, but you need to give it some time. It seems as though you have a great attitude towards this which is a wonderful start. You should always be able to see your granddaughter because of your son, NOT this new woman. She should have no say in that situation, which is the part that is your sons responsibility. Have you sat down (or spoken on the phone) with the new girl and explained your side and that you are not a threat in any way? Your son should always allow you to have normal contact with his daughter, regardless of his relationship situation. I'm not sure what actions that your ex daughter in law would be able to exercise to cause you to not be able to. Different states have different laws for grandparents' rights, but regardless, this should not be an issue. If everyone is adult and open about the entire situation and communicates well with each other, there should not be a problem. Make sure you and your son have the closest bond through all of this. You should not use him as a go between, but his natural role in this should be to keep everyone civilized. Most importantly, if things do get heated between anyone involved, there is a 7 year old in the middle of this and children know if there is tension. It is imperative that she is shown a good example of adults acting properly.
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