I am sorry to hear about what is going on. I strongly recommend that your son be brought to an adolescent psychotherapist to be evaluated and treated. During the evaluation the therapist will be able to determine what really is going on. Obviously we can't online because we have not met him. Once a therapist does an evaluation s/he will know what is the best treatment protocol for him.Then you and your ex wife can discuss with the therapist, based on what is going on with your son, what is the best treatment strategy and what is best for him --- to stay and live with his mom or come move in with you.