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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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my 6 year old daughter is increasingly challenging. If anything,

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my 6 year old daughter is increasingly challenging. If anything, no matter how minimal, is not what she wants, her behaviour immediately escalates to sobbing and shouting, tantrums and rudeness. She has an 8 year old brother, who doesn't behave like this, although they are very competitive. Help, i don't know how to manage and the behaviour upsets us all.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the issues with your daughter. Has she always behaved in this manner? Are both parents residing in the home? How does she behave in school? What grade is she in? Have there been any major changes in her life recently? Thanks.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
she is not an "easy" child, that is to say, she is quite demanding and has always "felt things deeply" , by which I mean she tends to get disproportionately upset over things not going her way. She is not destructive or out of control, however, the behaviour has got markedly worse over the last year - where things not being as she wants cause her to immediately cry, shout stomp off, and yell "I hate you" etc. She is in year 2 at school and is probably average to just above average in her class. She is at a middle class private school. She likes school and is quite applied, she has lots of friends and behaves well. Mum and Dad both at home, Mum works 4 days a week and Dad full time. We moved house in March, not far from old house, where she hs a bigger bedroom and garden.
Other than this there have been no major changes in her life, (beyond a new year at school - not new school). This behaviour has not suddenly happened it has got gradually worse. I worry that it will continue to get worse and so negatively affect us all, and of course that for her its is terrible to not be able to control her emotions. I don't feel I manage it well and I don't think I'm helping her.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 2 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding. Your last sentence is a key to helping your daughter. YOU do not think that you can handle your daughter but you have more power than you realize. Your goal as a parent is to discipline and to teach your children. Do not ever think that you are weak in your parenting skills. Do not allow your daughter to manipulate you in any her way. What you need to do is to start fresh from today with a behavior management chart. You want to start paying more attention to her positive behavior in order to eliminate the negative. Your daughter still needs to have consequences enforced when she does misbehave to the extreme. Some behavior, will just have to be ignored. Walk away. Do not give negative behavior any attention. Nonetheless this is what you need to do. Talk about your daughter about her behavior with her. Tell her the actions that she does that are simply not appropriate and what you expect from her. You can even use some role playing exercises and activities. Furthermore, tell your daughter that if she can get through a day without any episodes, she will receive a sticker for that day. Mark sure the stickers are of things that she really likes. Then after your daughter receives 10 stickers and they do not have to be on consecutive days, she receives a treat or a special outing. After several weeks of improved behavior, then change the number to 15 and then to 20. Children often will change when there is a reward which they are working toward. The main goal is to make your daughter more responsible and accountable for her own behavior. When she does have a great day, REALLY praise her and make a BIG deal when she receives a sticker. Praise goes a long way. The key on your part is consistency and persistency. You may not see a change overnight but you will eventually see a change.

Have a great day. YOU CAN DO IT!
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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