How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Jennifer Your Own Question

Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
30853534
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Jennifer is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 14yr old son has gone from being an a student to making

Customer Question

My 14yr old son has gone from being an a student to making 2Ds and an F on his first report card as a freshman in high school. He has lied to us repeatedly about homework and what he says teachers have said or done. we need help.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jennifer replied 2 years ago.

Jennifer :

Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com! I'm sorry to hear your son is having such a difficult time adjusting to the demands of high school. May I ask if you've had the opportunity to sit down with his guidance counselor to discuss this issue?? I ask because he/she could be an excellent resource for you on this matter. They may want to call your son in to discuss what's going on. Perhaps the classes he is in are too demanding or there are dynamics at play making it difficult for him to focus in class (seating arrangement, teaching style, etc.). Is he motivated and doing well in his other classes? As far as the lying goes, many students are on homework trackers to assist with organizing assigned tasks and also to increase communication between home and school. Often the tracker requires the student to write the assigned work beside each period with a space for teacher initials. The tracker also has a parent signature piece to ensure parents are aware of assigned work. The tracker is then returned the next morning to whoever is managing this system (school counselor, school psychologist, or preferred teacher). If he continues to have difficulty, I would suggest you call the school to ask if they have a problem solving team (sometimes called a teacher assistance team, pre-referral team, or student study team). This team of educators (usually the psychologist, counselor, teacher, sped teacher, speech path) will meet regularly to discuss "red flag" students and come up with a plan to help them. Sometimes the interventions are provided within the regular education system (e.g., looking into getting a mentor for the student, an after school homework club, tutoring) and sometimes the student should be evaluated to determine if they might qualify for support services (e.g., if they are found to have a learning disability or other handicapping condition). You're on the right track as far as discipline... Removing privileges is an excellent strategy for adolescents. Be sure to also include positive reinforcements for the behaviors you want to see. He could earn rewards (not necessarily tangible) for completed homework, completing a homework tracker, and larger rewards for improving grades. Continue with the home discipline strategies, but definitely get in touch with the school to see how they can assist you since this is a school problem. It's very good that you're catching this early in his high school career. Please let me know if you have any questions or need additional information about any of this... Best of luck to you and your son!

Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience: Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
Jennifer and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
For Jennifer Thank you for the idea of using the homework tracker. I hate to think we have to treat him like a child but I guess we will have to. We plan on seeing teachers and counselors next week. We thought he may be having petit seizures and took him to see a neurologist. He has an EEG Friday. Since he is no longer allowed to play video games, he has not had one episode. They may have been the cause. Even so he still has not kept up with his responsibilities at school. I wonder if we should go so far and test him for drug use. He rarely ever has friends over. He is such a loner it really worries us.
Expert:  Jennifer replied 2 years ago.
You're treating him like a student who isn't doing his homework and is lying about it. To be honest, it's fine for you to treat him like a child... You're his parent! If his behavior warrants additional monitoring, then you're simply doing your job as a parent by providing it. I'm glad to hear you already have a meeting set with teachers and counselors. That's interesting that you suspected petit seizures... The EEG will be helpful. As far as testing for drug use... Are you seeing behaviors (other than the sudden academic downturn) that might suggest drug use?? Has he always been a "loner" or is this a new development?
Expert:  Jennifer replied 2 years ago.
Thinking more about your meeting... Will your son be in attendance?? It might be good for him to see that there are so many adults who care about his success at school. The D&A discussion may be something to have before that meeting if you want to ask them what their thoughts are on that possibility (not something I'd bring up with him for the first time in the meeting). If you decide to use a homework tracker, have him help develop it. Be clear with him on what the consequences are for when he doesn't complete the tracker and doesn't do his homework -- even better if he helps you come up with those consequences. Ask him to help you come up with the rewards as well. Be creative with these... They don't have to be things you have to buy. Spending a day somewhere, control of the TV remote for the night, a favorite home-cooked dinner... Also explain to him that this is a temporary plan and come up with criteria for what he needs to do to work his way away from needing this tracker. He'll have more "buy in" and be more motivated to follow along if he's involved in the process and sees an end to it.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HE/heidi1107/2012-2-18_15325_Heidi.64x64.jpg Heidi LPC's Avatar

    Heidi LPC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    Licensed Professional Counselor