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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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how can my family successfully intervene in my young nieces

Resolved Question:

how can my family successfully intervene in my young nieces parenting skills to her 8yr boy. intervention? she won't listen to us.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. How old is your niece? Does she work or go to school? Was this child planned? Thank You.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
my niece is 28. as far as we know the child was not planned. she has been going to beauty school and she has been interning (?) she said its her job but we don't think she gets paid. she uses it as an excuse not to come home because shes working late because she is assisting on hair appointments.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
How does she support herself and her son?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
grandmother financially supports 8 yr grandson. she pays & participates him in social play dates, therapy, soccer, swimming, karate, after school child care, counseling. his father pays child support. i think some little money comes from IHSS - 8 yr old, Nathan, is autistic, mildly.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Does your niece realize that there is a parenting problem? Has she admitted to it she in denial?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
no she has not admitted to it. in fact she thinks nothing is wrong. and she was in denial when the doctors told her her son was autistic. to this day she says the doctors are wrong.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
To help your niece become a better parent, your niece must be more involved in her son's life. Grandma should not be doing so much. She is enabling your niece to have the freedom away from her son. Does she not want to be a parent? A family member should ask her if she ever considered giving up her parental rights. If she says No, then she needs to be told to step up to the plate, grow up, and be the mother to her son that he deserves. Whoever in your family is the most authoritative should approach her. Your niece has it too easy. Maybe even have your niece's son tell her, " Mommy....why are you gone so much? I want you with me."
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
What you might also try is a family meeting. You do not want your niece to feel like the family is ganging up on her though. Each person can honestly state what they have observed in her parenting skills both positive and negative. Then your niece has a chance to respond. Use other people that the family knows with kids who have great parenting skills as role models that she can imitate. It just sounds like she is in total denial about the autism and keeps her distance so she does not have to deal with it.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
she has been asked to give up her sons rights. she wont do it. she has been told to step up many many times and her son has asked her to stay home & be with him. she trys a little but she goes back to her old ways.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
It sounds like she does not want to be a parent. She has no desire to improve her role as the mother. Therefore, I suggest that you contact your local Department of Child and Family Services. Explain the situation. They will send out someone to investigate your niece's role in her son 's life and tell you the necessary steps that you should take.
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