The preteen wants to feel secure by having the parent draw the line with them although the preteen will argue that this is not true. It is important that the parent establish rules which could be put down in writing so that there is no question about what a certain rule is. Have the rules where the child can see them and keep a separate copy for yourself in case the child destroys the list. Begin by deciding which few things are most important to be firm on. (Choose your battles).Arguing with the parent would be a good thing to make against the rules.(You are trying to establish some basic respect for the parent's authority). When the teen does not follow a certain rule or yells at the parent, the preteen loses a privilege each time he/she yells or doesn't follow the rule. This could be loss of an allowance or a part of allowance, not being able to go to a friend's house or have a certain friend over etc. Try as much as possible to let natural consequences guide you. For example, if there is a rule that the child needs to have his/her clean clothes put away then the child can not leave to go visit a friend until it is done. If the child needs a ride somewhere, chores must be done first. Later on after the child is following most of the rules on a consistent basis, the parent could also establish a point system so that the child may eventually earn some privileges back by doing extra chores. Each chore when done is inspected by the parent and (if completed satisfactorily) is worth a certain number of points and a certain privilege may be able to be earned back if the parent agrees to it . The privilege is worth a certain number of points and must be purchased with chore points earned. points.It is at the parent's discretion if the child can earn a certain privilege back for a certain occasion. For example, the child may be able to go on a certain outing that comes up if the child earns it back by chores. However, the child probably shouldn't be allowed to earn back privileges when the child has yelled at the parent.