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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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My 17 year old daughter just abruptly ended her 1 1/2 year

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My 17 year old daughter just abruptly ended her 1 1/2 year relationship with her boyfriend. She started seeing a new boy the same day. I've told her that I don't think it's healthy to go from one relationship to another so quickly. I've asked her not to see the new boy, but he's been waiting for her after school to see her for a few minutes, all in front of her exboyfriend who is completely crushed. The new boy is constantly texting and calling her all day and night. I'd like to ask him to back off for a while so my daughter has time to grieve over her past relationship and be alone for a while before she moves on. I don't know how she can be so cold to someone she claimed to love for so long. If I put an end to the new relationship for a while, wil it make matters worse?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. You are definitely correct in the sense that your daughter should not have jumped from one guy to the next. However, the more you tell a teenager not to do something, then the more they will find ways to do it even behind your back. Simply tell your daughter that she needs time between relationships. Ask her why did she break up with the other guy and jump into another relationship so fast. Just get her to thinking. Then leave the issue alone but continue to be very observant. Your daughter may be the one that gets crushed this time. Also, ask her why would a guy want to be with a girl on the same day she broke up with a serious boyfriend? Teen age boys have one thing on their minds...sex...and hopefully your daughter will simply not be used in that way. On the other hand, maybe this second guy is just a good friend that your daughter has confided in about the break up. Nonetheless, keep a watchful eye on the situation to see what it really develops into but do try to stay out of it for now.Hope this provided some insight. Have a great day.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

This new boy is not someone she has been confiding in. However, they are now texting and calling eachother all day and night. He is older and went away to school and just returnd. I'm most upset that she seems to have no regard for the feelings of her long time boyfriend. I don't know how she can be so uncaring after being with him for so long. Friends have told her how much he's hurting and she's walking around laughing and smiling.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

This new boy is not someone she has been confiding in. However, they are now texting and calling eachother all 15 hours a day. He is older and went away to school and just returned. I'm most upset that she seems to have no regard for the feelings of her long time boyfriend. I don't know how she can be so uncaring after being with him for so long. Friends have told her how much he's hurting and she's walking around laughing and smiling.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: Other.
Not responding
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello I am here..How old is the new boy?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
19
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Oh...that is another story. The boy is too old to be with your daughter. He will take advantage of her. He is over 18 and an adult. Tell him to leave your daughter alone. Tell your daughter to stay away as well. Enforce consequences if she disobeys. One thing you can do to limit contact is to take her phone away.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I'm trying to handle the situation in a way that won't backfire on me. I would like to block his number from her phone but I'm afraid this will only make matters worse. The last thing I'd like to ask you is, should I allow her to continue to text and call this new guy but limit the amount of time they spend talking or texting, or forbid her to have contact with him at all. I'm inclined to tell her that if he really likes her, he can come back in 8 months when she turns 18, until then, she can not see him. Thanks for your help.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Waiting until she was 18 would be a wise idea. Limit the texting as much as you can. If you block his number, she will just use a friends phone. Have a great day.
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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