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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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My mother in law buys tons of stuff for my daughter. My 3

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My mother in law buys tons of stuff for my daughter. My 3 yr old has 3 closets and 2 dressers of clothes, two bedrooms full of toys, and that's just at our house. my mother in law has purchased @80% of these things. She has a small obsession with my daughter to say the least. My husband and i recently moved away, mainly because of his job but getting a little distance between her and my daughter WAS DEFINITLY a plus. I have tried explaining that we dont have any more room, for clothes or toys. And that the overload of toys has made my daughter very unappreciative of gifts and her toys.

But just today my mother-in-law left here after visiting and handed me a bag full of wrapped presents. she told me to put one on her bed everyday my daughter is at school so she comes home to find a gift and then is to call her "Granny". I think my "M-I-L" thinks this will make it easier to get my daughter to call her. I was so shocked and angry but i couldn't say anything. I didn't want to react in anger. Plus my "m-i-l" is so sensitive she was already in tears because she was leaving. I dont know what to do!!!!!!!! What should i do????
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Is your husband your mother in law's only child? Is your daughter your mother in law's only grandchild. Are the other grandparents involved in your daughter's life? Thanks in advance for the background information.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
No my husband has a younger sister that is attached at my MIL"s hip. Yes my daughter is her only grandchild. she is the only grandchild on both sides of the family. However, the other grandparents are involved much less, but anything is much less than my MIL. if she had her way she would have our daughter. she makes comments all the time about how we should give her to her. (keep in mind, my husband make very good money, i am a stay at home mom, and we have no alcohol or drug problems) she acts like these comment are jokes but we all know better. All the other grandparents have to take a backseat to my MIL at every family function. It bothers me alot.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
It can become very touchy issue when dealing with mother in laws. Your son needs to be the one to repeatedly tell her that she is smothering your daughter with gifts. She needs to be told that you appreciate her kind heartedness but you do not want your daughter to come to expect things all the time from grandma. Your mother in law is slowly trying to manipulate your daughter into making her want to be with her through all the gift giving. She is trying to "buy" your daughter. She probably will not change though. Maybe if your husband tells her that your daughter has just way too many things that you will have to start donating any new things to charity because you just do not have the space.

For some reason, one grandmother always seems to be the dominant one in families and gets jealous when she is not in control. It is more if a power issue and feeling important. It may be wise just to keep your distance even more.

I had to deal with a mother in law who showered my sons with gifts when they were younger. I would accept them but would give them away soon after. Then I finally told her that I would let her know the toys and clothes that we needed.
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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